Williams

Twenty-something

2012-01-08T13:11:00.000-08:00

Oh heck. What have I been doing these last 9 months? I've been right here reading juicy blogs and never once remembering I had one of my own. That's the Terrible, Awful that I know you've already figured out. Blogging is not my fav - but since I can't find my journal at the moment this will have to do.

I was in Young Women's today (my church's youth program for girls) and was asked by another leader if I had yet graduated high school. I know it's a compliment and I thank her for it. I've just seemed to have confused an awful lot of people lately with my strikingly young appearance. It's no secret that I'm only twenty-something (3) and still look like a pubescent tween. Which is fine except when I'm entering a club or a bar and everyone thinks I've got a fake ID. I've actually never been in that kind of a situation but I can only IMAGINE the frustration that I would encounter. So as my age appears to muddle its way into the twenties I find myself second-guessing my every decision. Is that healthy? Will I regret this? Will Ryan regret this?

Church was good today and helped clarify my anxiety over some of life's dilemmas. I re-learned about faith and how sometimes I just need to be obedient. It's unfortunate, but I find that all too often I compare myself to other twenty-somethings and begin to worry about my eternal progression. Will I be judged on how I never can make my bed (ever) and how I can run no further than a mile (on a good day)? Or how we got ourselves a dog but were terrible owners and gave him away after 3 weeks? Or how the month before graduation I decided I don't want to study Sociology anymore?

There's a reason I don't blog weekly or Facebook blast daily... But even though I'm not pregnant with sextuplets, can't manage my credit card, and kill all my gifted plants I am still trying to accomplish it all (except not sextuplets, please). Faith is one of the greatest truths behind my religion and I am very grateful to be told again and again... endure to the very end. Keep trying to be obedient and keep trying to have faith that it will all work out. Somehow that just makes me feel better, day in and day out.

This twenty3 year-old may be lacking in some areas but understands that finding joy is what life is all about. I'm just grateful that I have help along the way to remember it all. (And individuals who tell me I look like a dashing 15 year-old).

Enter Title Here.

2011-03-08T19:31:00.000-08:00

I have completely fallen out of love with blogging. I feel so unmotivated to write fancy and detailed posts about my over-dramatized life. To keep up with blogger is like keeping up with my laundry. I'm just bad at it. Because who wants to read a blog that isn't disgustingly witty or charming? I don't. So I understand your wanting to click on another blog link. Probably someone whose current post has a better title than mine...

I have senioritis! I'm really antsy to graduate in December. Fun fact: Ryan graduates in December, too. It'll be a family affair. I anticipate receiving my diploma on-the-go, and then running to his ceremony with my blow horn/torch. Too bad I can't just forgo all of my current class work to relish in the thought of grad school applications...

Oh, what? Grad school? Yeah, it's been on my mind constantly. I'm planning on applying to ASU's Marriage and Family Therapy program. But first things first... find an internship. One that isn't in downtown Phoenix and one that isn't boring. Next step, get graduation pictures taken. Then plan loads of self-indulging parties. Won't life be glorious?

What are the chances he'll come see me graduate? Expect an invite, Mr. President!

"It'll be the social event of the season," J-Lo.

Now you REALLY want to look at somebody else's blog...

And we're happy.

2010-11-29T20:47:00.000-08:00

Had a great Thanksgiving!
Looking forward to this cool weather and (yummy) treats.
I hope someday to have better family pictures taken.
But for now, this is our holiday greeting card... we're alive and well!

The Best is Yet to Come.

2010-11-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

It has been over the course of the last two and half weeks that I have struggled with being believing. Believing in myself, in this pregnancy, and in miracles. It is unfortunate to admit but sometimes I let fear drive my thoughts and faith take the back seat.

After our first ultrasound, we were able to finally believe that this baby was real. We could hear baby's heart and see baby's body, and the connection between child to parent grew deeper within us both. The nurse practitioner then delivered very scary news about the stability of baby's health. Through the first 8 1/2 weeks of pregnancy the little tadpole developed pericardial effusion, a condition in which abnormal amounts of fluid surround the heart, ultimately creating a problem with potential growth. What felt like a huge devastation turned into a huge blessing. After much encouragement from my husband and family, we prayed day and night for this baby. We knew miracles were possible. After all the Savior raised Lazarus from the dead and gave the blind man sight. Could He not heal my baby? I believed He would.

What seemed like the longest week of our lives finally ended with a follow-up ultrasound. My nerves were uncontrollable, and I played through all possible scenarios of what could happen. My worst fears were confirmed: no heart beat. Baby had passed, sometime within a short day of our first ultrasound. Yet because we both knew the possibilities it came as less of a shock. Still a huge blow. My baby wasn't healed and I was sad.

Because the baby was at no position of dropping on its own, we could choose between a. waiting out the miscarriage or b. having a D&C. Both sounded awful. I was given a blessing and continued to pray. While at school and work my prayers were constant. We felt that the best option was to have the surgery. So that's what I did yesterday afternoon at the hospital. After I woke up from the anesthesia I began crying, maybe because I was drugged up or maybe because I was sad it was all finally over.

It wasn't until I lay in the hospital bed yesterday that I finally felt a sense of peace come over me. My baby wasn't supposed to be healed. And I am beginning to understand that more fully. This experience was for our good, for my good. And miracles do happen. Surgery went well. Recovery has been wonderful. And the understanding of my Savior's love has deepened. He is now healing me.

How could I have managed to experience life's hiccups without the Gospel of Jesus Christ? The Savior is in all things and my plan has become more clear. I look forward to what's ahead for our family! For we will never be left alone... Thank you to all those who prayed for us. We really felt your prayers and were blessed by the added strength.

"We know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true, and the best is yet to come," Elder L. Tom Perry

The best IS yet to come! I cannot wait.

October brings good things!

2010-10-26T11:39:00.000-07:00

What a fabulous time of the year this is! I just celebrated my 22nd birthday and loved it. Ryan surprised me with a trip to Scottsdale. I've been dying to go on vacation for a while (mainly because I love hotels) and my wish came true! We called this trip our "babymoon". (thebump.com told us having a babymoon would ease the pregnancy. I like to believe that that's true.)

Yesterday my parents did a big birthday dinner for both my dad and myself. I truly love that our birthdays are so close! Happy Birthday (today) Dad! You're looking younger by the minute. I played hookie from school today because I felt too tired. And my stomach hurt. With working 25 hours a week and going to school full-time I feel like this baby turns my body off really fast. Tadpole = 1, Caraline = 0.

We had our first ultra-sound on the 22nd and heard the baby's heart beat! What a neat experience. Because our baby has a heart complication we're going back for a follow-up ultra-sound this coming Monday. Ryan and I are confident that this little baby will be fine. But oh the stress it can bring when you carry a baby! Wish us luck on Monday.

I hope you all had a lovely October and enjoy your Halloween!
(Oh- and Happy Birthday to Joelle this weekend :))

The time is here...

2010-10-15T22:00:00.000-07:00

I wanted to let you all know
(and by "all" I mean those who have the patience to care about my abandoned blog)....

I'm expecting!

(A baby).

Happy to be sick (kinda) and even happier to be fertile.

Vacationing.

2010-07-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

Every summer should be complimented by an awesome vacation. My summer just got rocked by Bear Lake and Sundance, Utah. No... no Robert Redford sitings this time. Ryan was able to meet most of my extended family for the first time at Bear Lake. And he still wants to stay married! I wish I had pictures of my cousins and extended family. It was so good to see them. I can't wait until our reunion in Washington next year. My immediate family left Bear Lake and stayed at a beautiful log house in Sundance. Here are only a couple of pictures of our awesome vacation.

Ryan and Samantha running a muck at BYU!

Baby Wesley at the Provo Fair. He's a wee baby.
Emma, Samantha and me. Posing for Ryan. Cutest nieces ever! Where's Matthew? Settling Catan?
Husband and wife... lounging on the deck.
Siblings picture. Check out Curt's lighting zipper!
Williams family picture!
Can't wait to go on vacation again!!

Paperweight.

2010-07-14T23:22:00.000-07:00

Two posts in one day... whaaaa?

This post will serve the very purpose in having a blog... to update.

Ryan is in Mexico again. He has spent the majority of June and now July (and eventually some of August) at a mine site three hours from Monterrey. He works a lot when he's there which is always a blessing. But all he has to show for it is a bag full of Fools Gold. Bring me the real stuff! When we move maybe I'll pitch it at a garage sell as real gold and noone will know the difference. Without my buddy here I do a lot of info-mercial watching and internet surfing. Mainly because I'm waiting for Ryan to get online. Our means of communication is online chatting. Definitely doesn't feel cool as it did when I was 13 years old. But it's the best we got, so I'll take it! Yes, I miss him a lot. But again, I am just grateful we both have jobs. So when Ryan gets home we'll be taking a week long vacation to Utah... woohoo! Who doesn't love Utah? Ok, maybe a lot of people. But I can't help but love it... "so sue me."

We'll be staying in Sundance. Beautiful! I'll be sure to post some pictures after the trip. Until then... I have some Zumba info-mercials to attend to.

Tuppence a bag.

2010-07-14T22:40:00.000-07:00

As if my week can't get any better... this is what I found chugging alongside Warner road without a care in the world. Unfortunately, I could not slow down the car enough to take my very own picture of an elderly man riding a banana seat bike, dressed in camou and a macau. Like it was nothing at all.

In Google Imaging "Man riding bike with macau on shoulder" I discovered that over-usage of words gives you way too many stupid pictures. But I did find a better representation of what I wanted to portray. Although he looks less like the elderly man and more like my dear father-in-law, I thought it was pretty remarkable that people even think to do things like this.

Do macaus adjust well to 115 degree weather? I couldn't help but feel bad for that bird. There's no way that bird would take flight anywhere away from that man's shoulder. Where would it go? Don't macaus live in tropical forests? And isn't camou the worst thing to wear in the middle of July? Fortunately my logic didn't match this man's. Good thing! What would I blog about if I didn't have people like this?

It took me 14 minutes to draw that.

The first day of summer.

2010-06-19T17:18:00.000-07:00

Did you know that starting Monday, June 21st the first day of summer has arrived? On the contrary, I believe the first day began several weeks back. But to honor my FranklinCovey planner I will attribute Monday to summer's arrival. We are defining our first summer together by attending baseball games, bbqs and working a lot. We were fortunate enough to view the Gila Valley temple dedication in the Gila Valley. It was a beautiful experience! Did I mention Ryan works a lot? He has currently worked himself all the way over to Monterey, Mexico where he will have spent two weeks working at the mine. I'm on day five. Today was the first day I was able to speak with him on the phone. I answered the phone not expecting to hear him and not recognizing to whom I was speaking with. Maybe another ten months of marriage will cure that.

Maybe since I turned our internet back on I'll blog more in the next week and a half. Happily, my brother Jesse is staying with me. So I don't find myself too bored. Last night we went to Chipotle where I bought myself a kids meal (first time ever) and we later watched Jurassic Park. "Hold on to your butts." Newman has got to be the grossest character in that whole movie. Also, I am trying to do some summer reading as I anxiously await the third installment of the Hunger Games. I have discovered that I am not the only person loving this series.

Ok, that's all I have for tonight. Maybe I'll blog sooner than later next time. Just maybe...

Please ignore Ryan's tucked in shirt. He was helping with the sound at the Gila Valley Cultural Event. It's all I can really say about that.

Every day.

2010-05-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

Every day can seem a little more tedious than yesterday.

And every day I struggle to be a little bit better than I was before.

Every day I feel compelled to be a better member of my faith and a better missionary to those searching for answers.

And every day I fall short of my perfect reality.

But every day I know that my Heavenly Father loves me.

Today is the same as yesterday and tomorrow because my Father in Heaven never gives up on His struggling daughter.

So every day I should be thankful for the life I have and the person I am becoming.

Please, watch this. It may help you remember your own divine nature...My New Life

It's almost time.

2010-05-03T08:57:00.000-07:00

Please let us make it through finals...

And not end up looking like him.
Thank you.

It's true!

2010-04-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

We have proof- we DO do stuff! Contrary to what you may believe, we aren't just boring, non-eventful people. And I have the pictures to prove it. These were all the good pictures I had on my camera.

My homies. Isn't it great to have friends that date back to elementary school and junior high days?? I love being with Ashley and Kaycee. Here's to girl's nights and greasy dinner at Chile's!
Sweet baby Wesley. Isn't he so stinky? And by stinky I mean cute. This is Brett and Lindsey's new baby boy. And if you look closely, that white and brown object in the front right is my new baby... a brand new purse! Way too expense. Way too cute.

Spring Break 2010- camping in Safford. Our first camping trip! It was seriously cold. Three blankets and a highly insulated sleeping bag couldn't keep me from shivering all night long. Things I'm grateful for: not being homeless and memory foam.

My co-workers and I said goodbye to our dear Nathan Askins. Lifetime Fitness feels empty without him. He's serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Brazil. We sure miss you, Mr. Nathan!

EASTER PAGEANT! Worst seats ever. We really enjoyed it though. Thanks to Ashley and Trevor for coming with us. No pictures of our friends, only us. Apparently we only take pictures of ourselves.

Toby Keith's I Love This Bar & Grill. Yes, you got it. My first (and definitely last) bar experience. I was way bummed that Toby wasn't there. I guess he really doesn't love that bar and grill.

Two of our most favorite people, Lisa and Tanner! Always so good to see you guys. Good thing I love my in-laws :)

So there you have it. Ryan and I are completely capable of doing stuff. I'm excited for summer time- I'll be sure to document all our cool adventures.

Missin' you lately...

2010-04-02T13:57:00.000-07:00

It's like I was taken from my birth mother and put in a foster home for the last 17 years.
"Take me home country road..."

Things I miss most about Washington:

Safeco Field and Ken Griffey Jr. (thank GOODNESS for baseball!)
The joke shop at Pike Place
... everything else at the market for that matter
including the pig statue at Pike.
Evergreen Trees
brick houses
picking berries on Camano Island
homemade jam
grandma and grandpa mac
walker reunions
Ivar's Fish and Chips.... mmm
the wharf (where my obsession with marinas began)
the trashy bums EVERYWHERE in downtown Seattle
riding ferries to different Washington islands
Tim's Cascade Chips
my dog, Elvis
not my cat, Felix. bad Felix.
fresh crab
the absolutely tranquil rain
the music! what a hotspot for rock and roll.
how everyone still dresses like they live in the 90s
mostly... my family.

"Take me home country road, to the place where I belong."
John Denver

Now you wish YOU could live there too, I bet! Hopefully we can go visit soon so I can post my own beautiful pictures of Washington. For now, I'll keep saving my pennies for a trip.

HAPPY EASTER!

Don't you fret

2010-03-30T20:26:00.000-07:00

A little fall of rain can hardly hurt me now.

A wise friend taught me that there are no such things as bad days,
only bad moments.

Tomorrow will feel better, friend.

A little fall of rain can hardly hurt you now...
for the sunshine will be your umbrella.

Delicious!

2010-03-26T17:19:00.000-07:00

This week I ate one of these...

while wearing one of these...

and smelling some of these...

Isn't springtime WONDERFUL!?! Everything is so delicious in Arizona right now. Flowers, shorts, fruit, pony tails, flip flops. And most importantly, General Conference. Hope you all enjoy the delicious treats that spring has to offer!

The Dishwasher Chronicles

2010-03-11T21:50:00.000-08:00

Here's a little gem for you...

Remember my damaged disposal? Our dishwasher broke! This wasn't a HUGE deal since the last two years I've lived in apartments that didn't even have dishwashers. So I'm very familiar with using fingernails to scrape plastered oatmeal from my $2 plates. Our sad little dishwasher has been making some serious angry noises for the last several weeks, and Ryan and I have debated on whether or not to even use it. We did anyway, lazy us. However, before any huge explosion occured, we called the maintenance crew and after managing the problem, they found a stock of plastic water bottle lids jammed in the tubing. Yes I did wash plastic water bottles and re-use them. It saves money, right? Several other parts were broken, none of which was my fault. Fast forward one week and now we have a brand new dishwasher!

I especially loved it when the repair man mentioned "Oh yeah! This is so easy to fix. These dishwashers only cost us $105 each. We're happy to help!"

No wonder it broke in the first place...

Reasons to be happy

2010-02-16T13:45:00.000-08:00

I have such a happy life...

I attend school. Even if it's not my first-choice university, it's an education, and for that I am grateful. How happy-a-day will it be when I yank that diploma from faculty hands and take what is rightfully mine!

Thanks to a loving set of parents, we have two vehicles. I couldn't imagine having the schedules we have and only using one car. One of us would have to ride a bike. And that would not give us a reason to be happy.

I know God loves me and watches out for me. Blessings are daily showered upon me and my family. The Gospel really is good news... happy news, if you will.

I have an INCREDIBLE husband. Do you all know Ryan?? Because if you do, you know how lucky I am. In all my days (as few as they may be) I have never met someone so smiley and positive and downright HAPPY as he is.

He is the reason I am so happy.

I hope you're just as happy in your own lives!

Seis meses. Six months.

2010-02-05T13:53:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Limher's mom, I am currently enrolled in free Spanish classes at her casa. Once a week, I learn all the basics to the Spanish language. This will come in handy when I'm (someday) lost in Mexico.

Seis meses have passed since August. Excuse me? Can you please explain where the months are going? Somehow in the last six months I have attended two new schools, started a second job, quit that second job, received a promotion at Lifetime, and, oh yeah, got married!

This post is dedicated to Mr. Williams and six things I've learned about being married to him...

1.) Even if you don't like taking pictures, you always look good in them. Especially pictures taken right before a fun date. Yay for date night and Phantom of the Opera!

2.) Your beard means the world to you.

3.) You have chameleon qualities. Your ankle changed at least four shades of purple and yellow after you sprained your ankle during basketball.
4.) Basketball is a man's sport.

5.) You are a good cook! Not that I didn't believe you in the first place... but after our Potato Bar Dinner, I was sold. 6.) You love children. You want like twenty of them. Thanks to you, all of the children in our lives (including this fine young fellow, Brady) choose you over me.

I can't wait for our next seis meses together! Viva la Williams!

Laundry news.

2010-01-14T08:47:00.000-08:00

While folding my laundry...

I turned on the TODAY SHOW.
I learned a simple tip to staying happy: make your bed each and every morning.
You'll feel "in control of your domain" and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I tried it; it works.

While folding my laundry...

I saw a commercial for Jiffy Peanut Butter.
The little boy who makes him his own school lunch.
And manages to make one for his mom.
Admittedly, I became a little choked up.
And afterwards, I made myself a PB&J.

I'm glad I folded my laundry.

Today is January 14th, 2010. Happy Thursday, everyone. Today, I remember our dear friend Megan Marie Wall Whitworth. We've missed you these last four years! I wish I could put flowers on your pretty headstone today.

I am so sorry for families and friends of those affected by the earthquake in Haiti. My prayers are with you.

May we all be a little happier, live a little better, and be a little kinder to one another. Why not start today?

YES!

2010-01-11T08:59:00.000-08:00

Observation #1: Productivity pays off.

I follow the counsel of my good friend, Anna, and use a planner. How else would I manage a life juggled around reading chapter books and cooking enchiladas? Thanks to another wise mentor who we will call Kent, because that is his real name, I learned the importance of meticulously diagramming hectic weeks. It's all about visualizing and committing to the times and tasks on the paper. When I see "9:00-9:45: run to Gardner street and back" I know there is no turning back. I've become a blood sister with my conscious and am obligated to do my weekly chores. I vote YES to Productivity. Actually, my obsessive compulsive behaviors have been harbored for a long while. This was all re-iterated to me Saturday when my niece found a paper from my elementary school days. If only I had a picture to show you all. The contents included a detailed list of times and activities for my 10th birthday party, along with back-up plans (in case no one wanted to play my games). I blame my O.C.D. on all my time I spent playing alone in closets and my childhood/adult obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Observation #2: Maybe this explains everything

I just felt like it was time to make this popular again. Thank you to Junior Miss for giving me the opportunity my senior year of high school to wear silly clothes and dance on stage. I vote YES to letting all those childhood inhibitions go.

Before I forget... I finished Hunger Games and it was VERY good. I need a couple of days to soak it all in; the plot line is anything but light. Next, I'll finish Suzanne Collin's series and then jump into the Tunnels books. Also, I have finally received in-state status at ASU! This is huge. Take $10,000-$3,400 and that's what I'll be saving. What a headache its been- I'm grateful for my "pleading" prayers, getting answer to prayers, and now my "thank you" prayers.

2010-01-05T12:27:00.000-08:00

Maybe this font wasn't the best idea...

Yesterday, I watched (most) of the movie Julie and Julia. For the most part, I enjoyed the storyline. After all, it is a story after my own heart. In 2002, some girl named Julie performed the exact notion in which I intended to become famous. Her solution was exquisite: take Julia Child's cook book. Next she sautéed, grilled, cooked, and baked her way through 365 days of Child's finest recipes. It takes the creativity of one young talented writer to change the way all writers think of themselves.

So I begin the forward movement towards my career as a writer. It's my turn to embark on the new endeavor for 2010 of bettering my writing technique and skill. Unlike Julie Whoever, I will not be using food as an outlet. (Outlet for writing, that is.) Instead, I'll have to resort to the beauty found in everyday monotony. In simplistic terms, I will use this blog to do exactly what I've been doing: write about my life. In all, I hope to use this next year and decade to reach the level of distinguished writer. Or something. Now is the time for influx of creative ideas...

Just as I've always known, to be well-versed you must be well-read. Before I start school again, I will take and make time to read. First book: The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Mom says its good, so it must be.

The Astronaut Farmer film is playing on my DVR, making me feel like I can make it to the moon, or rather be a decent writer. It's a new year and a new decade. Let the innovation in our own lives begin!

On a less than serious note: Sherlock Holmes is a great movie! Ryan and I saw it on New Year's Eve and fell in love with it. I want to see it again. Taking dance classes is therapeutic. For my exercise today, I attended one at the gym. I definitely never knew my hip rotators worked as well as they do. Lastly, Ryan and I have become obsessed with making our own salsa. I don't think I'll ever buy the store bought kind again. (That sounds very anti-Capitalistic of me, doesn't it?)

Hope your holiday was as good as mine! Happy New Year.

Sounds fishy to me...

2009-12-09T20:45:00.001-08:00

You want an update? A new post, you say? How's this for ya....

I just ate a whole bag of these. That pretty much sums up what we (mainly I) have been up to. Needless to say, school ends next week and I can focus on a more healthy diet. Until then, you know what I'll be doing...

2009-11-04T16:18:00.000-08:00

You've seen the Jane Austen movie, Emma, right? Gwenyth Paltrow captivates me. Call me cliche, but you can never go wrong with Jane Austen. I watched it today and remembered the huge amount of closure Jane brought in to this world.

I feel like I've had a really long day. It's like I've been watching a pendulum swing back and forth, all day long. A funk has been hovering over me for the last 48 hours and I'm ready to turn the lights out and sleep until Thanksgiving. "My goodness, it's like the blind date that wouldn't end!"
-Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner.

Ready for some happy time? Check this out...
I saw this play for my very first time on Thursday! Oh, I loved it. I have no claims to being a huge Broadway junkie. But this playbill will be the first to start my collection.

Take a picture, it lasts longer.

2009-10-28T19:44:00.000-07:00

Pictures are great for a plethora of things:
Capturing memories, retelling stories, blackmail... the list is never-ending.
Here are some pictures I've needed to unload from my camera so I can document the side notes of my life... because I appreciate those side notes.

Ashley Chapman became Ashley Palmer on October 16th. And the week before we had a fun little bachelorette party for her at The Cheesecake Factory. She's got the cutest smile, huh? Oh, and don't worry. Those bottles are sparkling drinks, alcohol free. However, we did drink them from shot glasses. I felt it was totally appropriate.

All the girls. We're all "party party party!" With all of our busy schedules, it is so nice to get together with the girls and play catch-up. A great method for de-stressing. Note to self: find two black articles of clothing that match. Sorry, Mom.

Many times I am amazed at how creative my husband is. I came home last week to THIS ingenuity.

Ryan loves his sunflower seeds.
And he loves his handmade funnel. Includes: paper plate, super glue, and tape.
For my birthday, I was pampered with cookies and cakes galore. Ryan bought me tickets to Phantom of the Opera! I am stoked. Unfortunately, Ryan was sick all weekend so (fortunately) my mom graciously brought us dinner and muffins. One muffin included a star candle for the birthday girl. Ryan wanted to be in my pictures. This is us posing for my birthday blow-out.
It was time for Ryan to give me my space and glory. Right here we have the real deal.
We enjoyed my mom's muffins so much. Nothing spells L-O-V-E like brown sugar.
Here is the finished product. Not included in this picture are the four other muffin wrappers I defeated that night.
Just us lovin my birthday. Nursing Ryan back to health has been a process. Now I'm sick. And I cut my foot open. I just hope this isn't an omen for my 22nd year.

I think in my 22nd year I'm going to stay away from sharp objects and wear closed-toed shoes.

If she wants to rock, she'll rock.

2009-10-22T10:55:00.000-07:00

How do I view myself?
I view myself as a daughter, a sister, a wife, a June Cleaver in my own right. Ain't no harm in knowing how to bake a mean pie and look good doin' it, right?

I view myself as an expressionist.
I like to express myself through different ways. I am actually really creative while I consume food. Ryan reminded me that while he can eat a quesadilla with a fork, cutting his pieces into exact squares with perfectly applied amounts of sour cream and taco sauce, I cannot. My plate is left with a ring... no.... puddle, of "juice" and my hands are smothered, just like when you eat buffalo wings. (Buffalo wings are my all-time favorite food. You can only imagine my struggles when eating those. It's a struggle going in and a struggle going out.) He says I'm messy. I say it's my creative side.

I view myself as a student.
It's been a long week and I'm kinda wishing it would end sooner than later. Midterms, papers, work, no sleep -- the typical life of a college student. We have eaten pizza four times in the last two weeks. I am ashamed to admit this publicly. Yet just as we've learned from popular t.v. personnel, it is better to come clean and admit your sins to everyone then face years of humiliating regret. And extortion attempts. I swear I have gained a second stomach in the last two weeks. Ryan wishes it were a baby. I tell him it is a baby... a greese baby, made especially with love, from Barro's Pizza.

We are half-done with the semester! And then I'm off to ASU, where dreams come true. I got that job I applied for, so that's good! We'll see how juggling two jobs and a full school schedule will pan out. I'm thinking it'll be interesting. Maybe I should look into making dinners ahead of time and freezing them... so we don't always end up eating pizza.

Also... my birthday is on Sunday :) I just can't help it, but I love my birthday.

Happy (belated) Birthdays!

2009-10-10T16:34:00.000-07:00

It's been a few weeks of birthdays and I'd like to acknowledge them all!

Happy Birthday to my niece, Emma LeaAnn Walker.
Aren't you getting so big and grown-up?
Six-years old is a huge milestone in your life.
Don't let the boys boss you around.
And remember, YOU are the queen of sass.
I love you Emma Lou Lou.

Happy Birthday to Grandma Walker and to Lindsey Walker.
I love you both and wish you didn't live so far.
Grandma, I miss your stories.
Lindsey, I miss your baby bump.

Happy Birthday to my roommate, Jill Burnham.
Maybe when we're old, rich women we can take luxury vaca's together.
I miss playing "Would You Rather?" and completely grossing ourselves out.
I also miss Austin Ames and wish he were real.
I miss you, Jilly.

Happy Birthday to Gandhi.
I miss saying your first name.
You were one cool dude.
"You must be the change you want to see in the world." - Gandhi.

I just loved this picture above.
May we all celebrate each other's lives.
Have a good October!

My lips are chapped...

2009-10-06T18:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Society,

My lips are chapped. My lips are chapped from lack of sympathetic moisture. Where's my soothing Burt's Bees for the sting and crack from uncomfortable moments? Just make me that fly on the wall and not the bull in the pit when you decide to have one of your "episodes." Keep me far away from the haters and bigots you've succored for so long.

I have changed my mind about the way in which you work.

It takes some idle time and people watching to really get a grip on your ways. You belong as a character in Clue. I predict you killed him in the Billiard Room with hypocrisy, not the candlestick. You can be pretty brutal, like those times in which your influence takes over the sensitivity of the people. How do you manage your power? Probably like Jafar did when he became the Ultimate Genie... not well. You probably wear red on those days. So lets cut a deal here, Society, a deal in which you give up your up tightness and begin opening your mind to everything. That isn't to be interpreted that you and I "shoot for the stars and let the moon do what it wants." There are rules. When did your judgment begin to overtake God's?

There is a right and there is a wrong. Like it is always wrong to eat soggy cereal and it is always right to dance to Selena. As for this deal: together we can be more willing to see each other's opinions, and even if I don't agree with yours, I will commend you for having one. Because you were made through a historical context and I was made by my mom and dad. So really it wouldn't be fair to hold you accountable for everything wrong. I would love to make peace with your ways, and you with everyone else's. So maybe we could cut the peer pressure part and the dictator part... it's a bad look on you, anyway. Good friends tell good friends the truth. And in the end, my lips won't be chapped. They'll actually feel really nice.

Think about it. The power of thought governs you, Society.
Write back soon.

caraLine.

Yummy grapes.

2009-09-28T17:22:00.000-07:00

I have had several failed attempts to find myself some yummy grapes. The Walmart on Arizona Avenue and Pecos has a poor produce selection. So! I have rotated grocery stores trying to find grapes that weren't too sour or too squishy. I thought I found the perfect batch at Basha's. Thought. I then bit into one and nearly choked on the seeds. Seeds in grapes?? This is absurd. How could I have not known about this? All I want are yummy, SEEDLESS grapes. Preferably kinds that look like this...

Yesterday, I applied for a second job. I walked into the store feeling slightly nervous to hand the manager an application. In fact, I don't think I've ever physically turned in an application before. Thanks to modern technology, every job I have received was over internet application. Those feelings of being the new kid at school reminded me that I AM the new kid in town. This semester epitomizes change in my life. New school, new life, and now a new job. I walked in the store feeling vulnerable and clueless. It took me a whole minute to realize that I wasn't just anyone applying for this job... I am Caraline Lea Walker Williams (the first), and I am a darn good applicant for ANY job. I hope to get it! With all this free time, I find myself twiddling my thumbs and making up things to do with my spare time. Another job is what I need. More MONEY is what we need. So I can buy this...
... minus the half-head and arms. I would pay a couple extra bucks for the hair though. Anyway! Today is a sick day for me. I switched birth control yesterday and spent the whole night re-evaluating yet ANOTHER change... over the toilet. Oh well. Maybe I can convince Ryan to buy me some yummy grapes so I can feel better :)

Shin splints and broken disposals.

2009-09-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

I have homework and laundry to do... but not before I blog. NEVER before I blog.

If you need a good c.d. to buy, I suggest the new Pete Yorn and Scarlette Johansson's BREAK UP album. It was suggested to me and now I pass along the wise suggestion. Pay it forward.

Don't you just love those moments when you resolve to change your ways and do better at something? Most of the time, those moments are short lived. We tossle with ideas of personal improvement and usually check these mental attempts off our lists. However, I have decided to make a public goal for personal health by posting a blog. My epiphany happened a couple weeks ago in a cycling class. I was riding up a steep, imaginary hill when I almost crashed on my bike. I was overwhelmed by my teacher screaming for us all to catch up to first place. Trying to pass up fifty other stationary bikes was a hard task. And it was in that moment that I searched the inner parts of my sweaty soul (and spandex) and realized that there was no REAL good reason why I shouldn't win the race. Or rather, why I don't push my physical endurance more often. I really couldn't answer my own question. And then I became really excited and determined to run marathons for the rest of my life. And to quit eating so many bagels.

In conclusion, Ryan and I ran two miles last night. Hence, the shin splints. It's a start but it's also the beginning to a new, healthy way of life. Ultimately, I want to write a healthy cook book and include cool pictures of me holding a delicious salad on a bicycle, or drinking a fruit smoothie on the top of a mountain. I'm catching the wave.

Now, I haven't caught the excitement wave of house cleaning quite yet. No epiphanies on better dusting strategies or bed making. There are times that I actually love cleaning- like to the point of obsessing over having a spotless faucet. I find it both stressful and relaxing. Maybe it just depends on my attitude. Last night, I was in a pretty good cleaning mood... so I did the dishes and shoved all unwanted foods down the disposal. Not a great idea. As I turned on the dishwasher and started up the disposal, a huge, constant flow of water knocked the rubber liner out of my sink and shot out into my living room. I was pretty impressed with my sink's abilities to literally dispose of everything and pretty disappointed in my inability to make good choices. I thought I broke it and spent the next hour worrying I would flood the apartment. Ryan fixed it. He's just good at fixing things.

In conclusion, I have decided that it's time to invest in robot maids. Who's with me? Rosie was one sassy robot.

World's Greatest

2009-09-15T13:09:00.000-07:00

Do you remember that movie about Muhummad Ali starring Will Smith? It's theme song is stuck in my head and gave me the title to this blog.

I had the world's greatest wedding! The whole day was awesome- few glitches here and there but it didn't matter because I was surrounded by family, friends and food. The three most important F's. Some of my highlights for the wedding day:

*Grandpa Walker sealed us in the LDS Temple. He was the officiator of the wedding and made the day so much more memorable for the whole family.
*My dress was incredible- BETTER than J.crew. Last week I finally received an email saying that J.crew dress had been located on eBay, and if I wanted it, it was mine. Total cost of J.crew dress = $1,800. Total cost of my dress = $165. ZING!
*My mom did my hair and it was perrrrfect! We practiced a lot. She's the queen of up-do's.
*Matthew cracked his head open at the luncheon, which technically isn't a "highlight" but it is noteworthy (poor guy).

I just loved the entire experience and am so glad it's over! After two receptions, I am convinced that wedding stuff is overrated. However, the honeymoon is not overrated. Between brown bath water, "diarrhea since Easters", and jet ski chaffing, Ryan and I had the world's greatest honeymoon! We really had a lot of fun. We met some fun people and enjoyed the Mexican waiters who knew only few English words like "bon a ppetite" (which is actually French... but we didn't tell them that). Since it's Mexico, I did get sick, but continued to eat as many tacos and jalapeño poppers as possible. No upset stomach can stop me from eating the spiciest of foods.

We were glad to get home but were not glad to find the black mold in our apartment. Thankfully, it is now removed and neither of us show signs of tuberculosis. We've settled in and enjoy our darling apartment, mostly furnished and mostly odorless. We appreciate all those that sent gifts and money and deeply appreciate the value of a good knife. Ryan and I are both in school and working, and we enjoy the moments when we can just sit and veg. Ryan loves football season, playing basketball, and his iPhone almost as much as he loves me, and he is often found involved in one of the three in his spare time. I have been cooking everything I can find recipes for: artichoke dip, homemade pizza, muffins, cookies... the list is only growing. Ryan told me I couldn't cook anything new for a while because the leftovers are overflowing our fridge. I'm a little hesitant, but will resist.

Life is just new and fun right now. We've decided to re-apply to BYU for the Summer term. I'm nervous. The first time Ryan applied was just a kick-in-the-pants process and we don't know that this time will be any different. However, Ryan catches me wearing my BYU shirt daily and looking on their website often, and knows where my heart is. I miss it dearly and would much rather be there than here. But we do what we do! And we're happy all the way :) So wish us luck!

Oh, I also have the world's greatest husband. That includes this world and the many others. My married blogging life is taking off!

The countdown is ON.

2009-07-26T20:47:00.000-07:00

Two weeks from yesterday I will be MRS. Caraline Lea Walker Williams. Or rather... Caraline Williams.

Wedding checklist:

Dress... FINISHED!
Shoes... bought.
Jewelry... waiting to be worn.
Pictures... this Saturday :)
Temple recommend... got it TODAY!
Ties... found. Bought. All 8 of them.
Family... maintaining sanity.
Music... waiting for the opportune moment to be rocked.
Flowers... beautiful. Tulips, daisies, calla lilies.
Tablecloths... just don't care after this point...

Bride... so incredibly excited that she has less than two weeks to make it all happen!
WISH ME LUCK!

I WILL FINISH!

2009-07-16T21:25:00.001-07:00

i registered for school today! 4 classes now. one more to add. 16 credits total.

school school school.

i love school.
i remember getting a real phone call from the first boy that told me he liked me in 1st grade. he wanted me to go to a movie with him and his mom. i could taste the vomit rising into my mouth.

i remember curling my hair with rag ties the night before the first day of 3rd. boy, i had crazy hair the next day. i got made fun of and never wanted to curl my hair again. thanks, you stupid boys.

i remember the first time i experienced the pit in my stomach as i sat, waiting for my science teacher, to pass out an exam. i was in SIXTH GRADE.

i remember still wanting my mom to pack me a lunch my Junior year of High School. and she did. because she loves me :) she made me my lunch this week for work. best meat and cheese sandwich on the planet.

i know i'll look back in twenty years and remember things about my undergraduate and potentially graduate experience. i'm going to be married and going to school. that's a first. but this i promise you... i will finish. even if is from the Devil's school. no but really, i will always love school. and although i hope to never stop learning, i do hope the end to my bachelor's is sooner than i know.

even if it takes me a million years...

Summer Update!

2009-05-29T23:32:00.001-07:00

It's been a while! So much to tell! I've been going crazy with planning summer camp for the kids at Gilbert Lifetime Fitness, planning a wedding, and planning my academic calendar for Fall.

Being home is awesome. I was able to meet two new very special people. My new niece, Samantha Jewel Walker was the first. She is adored by everyone, especially her big sister, Emma. And what a good big sister she is!

The second was my dear friend Mindi's baby boy, Logan. He's already three weeks old and so big! He told me I was his favorite babysitter.

It's a time for change and for new faces! Today marks the end of the first week of summer camp with new counselors and new kids. One week down, eleven to go! But we have an awesome staff this summer. Unfortunately, our enrollment numbers are low and we are seriously over-staffed. And since I'm in charge of scheduling the counselors I also hear all about the sad stories and circumstances everyone's in and why they need money badly. It's stressful! Such hard times. But the kids are awesome and make it all worth it!

I bought a wedding dress! For only $100! Can you believe it? I found it at a bridal salon called Azteca in Phoenix. Its not completely what I love, so Mr. William's aunt is going to alter and fix it into a version of this....

This is the Daphne wedding gown from the J.crew wedding line. It's no longer in stock because it SOLD OUT its first season. And in emailing everyone and their bridesmaid, this hot commodity can ONLY be found and bought for a hefty price. You guessed it... more than my $100 Azteca dress. This dress screams my name. But it isn't screaming loud enough for me to lay down a house payment just so I can look awesome come wedding day. I just know that the re-made version of this dress will be awesome-er and I cannot wait to wear it :)

I can't decide on a wedding announcement layout. And because they are so expensive I don't know whether to order them or just make them myself. All these decisions... vellum or no? Ribbon? A collage of pictures or just one? My colors are chocolate brown, pale yellow, and cream, and I'm having a hard time seeing an invitation with those colors. I got two months and 9 days. Wish me luck!

I think I may not go to ASU next semester and just take a full load at Mesa Community College. Since I have so many generals to take, I know it'll be a heck of a lot cheaper. And frankly, Mr. Williams and I can't afford much at this point. Our 'eating out' budget always exceeds the monthly goal because I just love my Applebees and Chipotle too much. Everything seemed cheaper in Provo. I'm still waiting for Cecil Samuelson to call me up on the phone and personally invite me and Ryan back to the Y, free of charge. Kind of like his apology for denying us.

But regardless of the busy busy days and high angst, I am so grateful to have time with my family and with Mr. Williams especially. He was so excited to show up to work and find two free tickets to the Dbacks game this week! He graciously took me. Date night couldn't have been better!Thanks Ryan for choosing your favorite girlfriend to take! I loved it :)

Another (school) year has gone by!

2009-04-26T17:45:00.000-07:00

Finals are over! I took my last final and it wasn't exactly how I wanted to end my BYU career. Because, yes, I am leaving BYU and going to ASU for the Fall. Why? Because I'm marrying the best man in the world and living apart just won't do. How do I feel about it? Bitter/sweet. I tried having a moment with campus as I walked home from my last BYU test ever, and the Utah wind almost knocked me off my feet. Intimate moment gone. Utah weather knows I hate wind the most and loves choosing opportune times to perpetuate it. It's the one element I'm always fighting with; I get so frustrated when it deters me from walking in a straight line or talking on the phone. But nonetheless, I will miss you, Provo. Thank you for the endless winters, krispy kreme donuts, prank wars, the University Avenue Bum, breaking and entering into apartments, the many parking tickets, dance parties on the kitchen table, and too many memories to name. Talking about it makes me sad. So on to the next!

My housing contract is up! I'm living out of boxes and am about to be kicked out of my room so a new Liberty Square resident can enjoy the cinder block I've been slumbering on for the last 8 months. And with the passing of the torch I will take my rightful place on the couch. I'm really stoked about it. Super stoked.

With school OFF, work is ON. Women's Conference is this Thursday and Friday and the paper chain I made a month ago is looking pretty short. EEEK! My boss Jenn always get mad when I remind everyone in the office of our countdown. If anyone is coming to the big Women's Conference, come visit me in the Wilkinson Center Garden Court- I'll be helping your every needs. The rest of you, pray for me. 18,000 women can be overwhelming. I do promise to blog the many stories that will follow the mass exodus of women. Last year it was the chicken salad lady who left her food unattended for "only a minute" and when she returned it was gone. What?! Gone?? Obviously it was taken to the lost and found (under my care) and after two attempts to reclaim it, in the space of 2 hours, chicken salad lady lost her own battle. "Someone must have eaten it." She's probably right. Or the lady who, as I'm eating my lunch, wants me to share some. Oh sure, stranger. All I'm saying is just be ready for complete awesomeness.

I move home the day after (Saturday) and I'm excited! Again, bitter/sweet. I think Ryan will veto me ever leaving to go anywhere again. I tried telling him a study abroad wouldn't be THAT bad.... but we both know that's just silly. Plus, I really do just want to marry him. I'm sick of writing my name on my groceries. This summer = a whole lot of work with summer camp and wedding planning! I'm really excited :) And I've started to make big plans with my entrance into ASU. Goals that will keep me busy and involved. Arizona State won't know what hit them!

Until next time. Goodbye roomies, I love you!

Good news

2009-04-10T18:31:00.000-07:00

HELLOOO. My boss told me that my good news is definitely blogger-appropriate. Although I usually never display the truly personal aspects of my life on here, I think its time :)

I'm ENGAGED! I've been dating a very wonderful man named Ryan Andrew Williams for 9 months now. We met in Arizona last summer and dated off and on during those months and became "official" in August. He's been going to school in Arizona and me in Utah and our long-distance time has been... way... fun. It's been rough but we're just glad to see have seen each other as much as we could. He came up last weekend for Conference and proposed on top of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building, at the glass window that overlooks Temple Square, in the midst of many tourists and on-lookers. Our audience made for quite a memorable experience. We've now become the new face on pages of many strangers' scrapbooks.

We are getting married in the Mesa, Arizona Temple on Saturday, August the 8th. We booked the Wright House for our reception that night and are planning on a killer honeymoon to Hawaii. Thank you Brother and Sister Williams. Everything feels happy and we couldn't be more excited!

Here are some cute pictures of us and the proposal.

Y-not serve?

2009-03-05T14:05:00.000-08:00

This semester has been crazy busy! And it's half-way OVERRRRR. Crikey.

I've been volunteering with Habitat for Humanity. It's a Christian organization that builds homes for families that can't otherwise afford at their own cost. We build homes. I build homes. Who-would-a thunk? I am gratefully one of their newest Site Safety Coordinator's. It sounds more awesome than it is. I pick out splinters and help my friends be safe, as well as work alongside the other volunteers. Along with my personal endeavors with this non-profit organization, I have become apart of Habitat's new BYU Chapter group. The President of the club is in my ward and asked me to be the Social Coordinator (I prefer "the social guru") and help get the club kick-started. It's been a blast! We've been working on a home in Provo and have another one that opened this week in Orem. We also had our first ever social full of waffles, music, and mingling. Thanks to Facebook and mass texting, we had over 30 people attend. Build days are full of painting fumes, dust everywhere, power tools, roofing, safety glasses, and some of the best people in all of Provo.

Success.

Working with this program has helped balance my life up here and put things into a busy and humble perspective. I love it :)

pretty maids all in a row.

2009-02-11T12:35:00.000-08:00

I always have a song in my head..

Today's: You Are The Best Thing by Ray LaMontagne. It was actually the background number to my dream... which was rudely disturbed by a said roommates alarm. A song by Nickleback nonetheless. Never a song in my head.

I love music. Particularly the music bred into me. Music played from numbers of records and tapes my father stashed away until weekend nights with the family. CCR and The Beach Boys. 90's music my brother's worshipped while arguing if Soundgarden or The Smashing Pumpkins would win in a rock-off. Beatles, Foo Fighters, Simon and Garfunkle, The Police, Pearl Jam, Sublime, the freaking Aquabats, anything rock-and-roll (to name a few). The strong denial of disco and 80's butt-rock music. (And, of course, country.) I admit I've found my likings outside of my mentoring. Whether I've stuck with the Walker family guidelines to the correct usage of music, I just know how to boogie. "I feel it in my bones." It's in my blood. And my blood wants to share my top iPod songs with you. I constantly listen to these songs. Allow me to enlighten you on my fav's. Listening?

(I just added this one... so yes, you counted right. 11 songs.)
11.) To Be Surprised by: Sondre Lerche
From the movie Dan In Real Life, which I adore. I can relate to songs like this and feel that the folk sound isn't utilized enough in popular music. Please PLEASE download this song.

10.) Rosanna by: Toto.
This is the closest thing I know of 80's music. You can't stop me. There's a certain awesomeness to the xylophone interludes and synthesized brass instruments. The musicality is simply striking. The snapping makes it a pretty easy song to dance Westside Story-like to. You know exactly what I'm talking about.

9.) Love Story by: Taylor Swift.
I just can't help myself. I had to be honest.

8.) In Your Eyes: Peter Gabriel
Recent discovery... long time comin'. Unfortunately the means in which I discovered this song was through a cover done by Sara Bareilles. She did do an excellent job, but the original is absolutely better. Next song to find by Peter G... Sledgehammer.

7.) Lovers In Japan/Reign of Love by: Coldplay
I wish this weren't already a single. Something about everyone now having this as their ringtone sends a wave of irritation through my jacket. I guess it's just that good of a single... two songs in one. It has a good dynamic contrast between the two. If you really want to be wow-ed, go see them in concert. Twice is not enough for me.

6.) Forever by: Chris Brown.
Look, I don't even care what you say. Go ahead and judge me. This song puts me in a better mood than anything. He's got the moves. He's got the looks. He's got the song of my heart. I plan on quoting him this song when I meet him.

5.) Listen to the Music by: The Doobie Brothers
I don't know half of what is being said but I don't care. I'm gonna let the music play. Definitely a feel-good song. That's all I really have to say about it. I do want to watch Remember the Titans everytime I listen to this song. Don't even think its apart of the soundtrack. It's just THAT good.

4.) Slow Me Down by: Emmy Rossum
This is a mix between Imogen Heap and Enya. Little Miss former star of Phantom has done quite well with her vocal abilities. I found this, along with some Jonas Brothers jams, on the Lifetime Fitness summer playlist. This song is fantastic. (So is Love Bug by the boys.)

3.) Lady In Spain: Ingrid Michaelson
There are too little words to describe my passion for Ingrid. She is the perfect arrangement of happy for me. I recently found this song and with my 30 second iTunes preview, knew I had to buy it. "I can be... anything I want to."

2.) Love Will Keep Us Alive by: The Eagles
My parents have this live concert of their whole Hell Freezes Over album and this song gives me chills to hear everytime. It's the perfect little Valentine's song.

1.) Brass Bed by: Josh Gracin
Mmmmmm. At different poses, Josh looks like the Fonze. I'm okay with that. I'm not the hugest country fan and am the outcast of the family for even breaching the country side. But I am beginning to like it more and more. Mainly, I just love this song. I will never retire from Brass Bed. It will go down with me to my grave.... bed.

There you have it. Another insight into my soul.

Steal My Sunshine

2009-01-16T14:51:00.001-08:00

I am craving warmth and sunshine and popsicles and flip flops.....
I am a summer. NOT a winter.

This weekend is a three-day weekend... BYU's alternative to Spring Break. Don't worry, we get another one in February. Out of the kindness of their Cougar hearts.

So in order to better help me make it through this semester and have things to look FORWARD to as I kick the snow off my boots and plead to the heavens for a taste of summer sun... I thought I'd make a list of things I wanted to happen or do or see in 2009. Yes- a goal list. Both productive and pleasurable. Something that will help me enjoy the NOW and keep me interested in this CaralineWorld. So tell me, bloggers, what books and what sites and what adventures would best suit me??? I'm open for it all. Ready to try new things. Kick new pants. Take it upon yourself to help make my year kickin'.

So what? I'm still a rockstar.

2009-01-08T12:23:00.000-08:00

This is so overdue. I don't know what happened to me in the last two months that would honestly take me away from my Blogging duties. Hello??!

I have this belief... theory... ok, opinion that women love to feel sorry for themselves. From girlhood we have put ourselves into situations that inevitably led to heartache and self-pity. We love listening to sap songs on Deliah and watching Sleepless in Seattle only hoping that years of loneliness can lead to a perfect life of romantic pleasure. It's like as females we expect that once we feel dejected or get rejected the world will send us roses. Wouldn't that be nice? To come home after a hard day of work or a bad breakup and find a bouquet of Daisies on your doorstep? Or a box of Belgian chocolates.... mmmm. Just because you're a woman who's lonely and deserves it?

I see it in every movie. Every book. Every song. My favorite: The Wedding Planner. Duh. J-Lo does an incredible job of being the perfectly content single woman who shys away from relationships because of a previous heartbreak and false opportunities. She never goes on dates. She vacuums her curtains. She plans other people's happy endings. Her life stinks. And yet, the first time I saw that movie I wanted to be her and live that life. What is with that?! And! What about how every woman feels so connected to Jane Austen. I love her, I do. Her stories are captivating as was her personal life. But maybe love grows to envy of something we DON'T actually want. So in the midst of living vicariously through thousands of sappy love stories, we still remember that we have a life to live as well. We have our own sappy.... story. Love or not. To me, its the idea of being independent. It's the idea of living a separate life, single from the world itself. And yet as we try and gain a unique female identity, we find ourselves wanting the acceptance from society (particularly males) and waiting for that dang box of chocolates.

I am that girl. I am that girl wants to be "found when no one else was looking." (Thank you, Kelly Clarkson. Good luck with your romantic endeavors as well). So I don't write this in efforts to try and call out the flaws of females.... because I am one and I do the works. But in an effort to change this mindset that I am currently in, I think my best option would be to stop saying "someday" my "Romeo" will come (clever name, Taylor Swift). What happened to my today's? I, and anyone else, can still be that independent girl. We can always just hope for the best right now. "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game," (Cinderella Story). Keep holding on to those bogus movies lines and cliche lyrics. We live for them, right?

I mean what doesn't make you stronger will at least put hair on your chest. Always stick to the positive side of things. And remember... love IS a battlefield. I salute you, Pat Benatar.

I want you!

2008-11-20T10:20:00.000-08:00

I'm so happy to report that I am apart of the most wonderful family in the entire world. My biased opinions have left me feeling a little homesick for them. I've been reading the most famous Nie-Nie and Mr. Neilson's updated blog and it just makes me miss my Walker roots.

It's a darn good thing I have my charming brother, Jesse, up here with me. I don't know how I'd manage without him. We ate lunch together almost every day last week on campus. And after we'd eat, we'd sit. And talk. And laugh at funny things funny people do. He's been so good to me and regardless of who I'm with on the weekends, I always wish I were with him. Or rather.... with him and the whole Walker Clan. So we all could laugh at the funny things that funny people do. I wish you could all know my brother Jesse. He's a hard-worker. And he could quite possibly be the funniest person I know. We are so much alike. Not in the funny factory, but in everything else. People will either ask us if we're dating or if we're twins. I love it when people assume I'm the older twin. Four and a half years difference means nothing when your brother still wears shark shorts to college. But I'm not embarrassed.

My middlest brother Brett married the daintiest little Lindsey and have a sweet marriage. They travel everywhere and do everything. Lindsey obsesses over Veronica Mars and Brett obsesses over nuclear warfare. Their explorations from Utah to Monterey to Jordan to Austria amaze us all. My best-friend brother Brett (you keep saying that alliteration) could outsmart the entire U.S. government- with his eyes closed and a creamie in hand. I'm not quite sure Brett even likes creamies. I remember Brett leaving the airport to report to the MTC is Sao Paolo, Brazil, a week before 9/11. He was so excited and so ready and I was so so distrought. Why did my mom have to have all these boys who constantly left me all the time? But as Bretty hugged his way through the fan-club of masses, he approached me with a hug and heavy eyes. We sobbed. Two years later was one of the best days of my life. The security guard at the high school escorted me to the lobby of the main office where my freshly returned missionary brother was waiting to greet me. I couldn't run down those stairs fast enough. I couldn't hug him hard enough. I sobbed again. He's quick and solid. Lindsey is just the same. They are perfect for the other.

My oldest brother, Curt, and his lovely wife, Stephanie, brought their little family up to Utah this semester for a little Fall Break vaca. I loved it. Jesse loved it. But Matthew did not. Or rather, he did not like saying goodbye. As I got in the car to leave our short visit, I found almost 3 year old Matthew all ready in the passenger seat. He wanted to come with. And as his dad took him out of the car he sobbed. We're a sobbing family. He outstretched his arm and howled "I just wanttttt youuuuu." Jess and I felt pretty important that day. Curt's family is so fun. He is such a good father and husband. I have always thought that when I decided to get married, he'd be the brother I consult everything with. He's the oldest. He was what I looked up to always. Curt is so level-headed and makes sense of most everything. I trust his judgement in almost anything... almost. I never trusted his BB gun wars. Never. But I get so excited thinking about seeing him and his wife and kids. Curt loves just being surrounded by his family, just like I do. And I think that of all the kids, him and I look the most alike. Except for that perfect nose he has. Where DID he get that nose anyway?

In searching through my picture albums, I found some from a couple summers ago. There are older and the kids look younger. But don't we always want to cherish our youth? I should remember that when I'm trying to skip years in growing up.

And we welcome you, baby #3! Until next time...

Picture update!

2008-11-12T18:12:00.001-08:00

HALLOWEENY! Me and Katie at her smashing Halloween party.

This semester has gone by incredibly fast... and I love it! Most times. Other times I need a third dimension time warp- like this one time last year... Limher and I were over at our friend's apartment and our favorite nomad friend, Logan, put on a glow stick show for us to Enya's greatest hits. I felt like Dory and Marlin on Finding Nemo when that light/fish/thing in the ocean completely puts them in a hippie trans. It was AWESOME. Fifty whole minutes of awesome. There's a distinct difference between being so relaxed that you just want to fall asleep and so relaxed that you can't open your eyes wide enough, and you would submit body and soul to everything awesome happening at that moment. This was one of those times. By the way... Limher is doing so well! I got a letter about 3 weeks ago and he is just on fire. I haven't received any pictures but when I do, you can guarantee I'll post. Anyway! Here are some pictures I've taken as of late at my lovely BYU home.

The roomies and I had a nice little photo shoot after baking some cookies. Juline was the star performer that night.

Our Mary friend. She can just work the camera.

My personal favorite. She only works for those who pay in large sums.

Note: The apron. So please... enjoy.

The last BYU home football game. We love football! Our seats were right behind the south endzone.

Hope your semester is going as good as mine! Chow.

Toooooo excited!

2008-11-08T09:29:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited for:

Snow.... mostly.
Snowball fights... mostly.
Christmas lights.
Thanksgiving!
Seeing my beautiful family.
Christmas Eve and Day
School to be over.
Going home.
Temple lights.
Christmas at Rockefeller Center... except I'm not REALLY going there. Just wishin' and dreamin' :)

I'm too excited for the best time of the year.

2008-11-03T13:02:00.000-08:00

In my own magical way, I was able to VOTE this election and let my voice be heard. It's bizarre to think that in only a few days, we will KNOW who the next President of the United States will be. In complete HONESTY, it was a toss-up for me this election. And I'm not going to say it's because "both candidates are terrible" or "it's a lesser of two evils." This is POLITICS. This is America. It's all about FIGHTING for what is good and seeking for that better tomorrow. And with such a monumental and HISTORICAL election, I can see the fight in these men. My parents said their Stake President made a point this weekend to discourage and condemn political hate emails against either candidate. Our NATION will be ok, was his point. I feel so much like I want to ECHO his words. With earnest prayers and righteous desires, God will lead those who are faithful. And because of that...

I will fear no evil.

Feel it.

2008-10-30T08:05:00.000-07:00

"What the WORLD needs now..."

My Jackie friend called me the other night... talked politics and voting matters. She concluded she only would vote for one thing most uncommon in this election time... love. Let the hippy movement begin!

"...is love sweet love."

October is the precusor to everything beautiful for me. Birthdays, holidays, family time. It's my Thursday for the months ahead. Only just one more day and its Friday.... one more holiday and its Thanksgiving and Christmas. Time to be with the ones I cherish the MOST. Nothing equates more to love than this.

"That's the only thing, that there's just too little of."

I feel like I know so little in a time when there's so much to learn. Days pile on top of the other and time slips by... today I'll take more time to learn about others. Put aside my wants. And to, "Love thy neighbor as thyself."

Caraline Truisms.

2008-10-27T13:09:00.000-07:00

I have learned that turning twenty automatically institutes a sense of wisdom. I'm already more mature, more sophisticated, and more knowledgeable. So, please, allow me to enlighten you on recent findings in the last couple of weeks.

#1.) Having blood drawn results in bruising.
I have had some funny health issues and have seen one too many doctor and (forgive my crassness) urinated in one too many a cup. The tricky phlebotomist used kind smiles and tempting cartoon postings on the wall to lure me into her jabbings. I can't help but show everyone my arm- I mean, regardless of age, bruises are still cool.

#2.) Sometimes you really do have to dance.
I feel entitled to dancing. You are as well- just tell yourself its your perogative. It takes one bad day, one bad test, one bad mood, and only one GOOD song to erase any previous care. I recommend using hot sauce bottles with little Mexican men on them to sing to and a sturdy table to dance on. If you have an accessible window that can serve as a mirror... please take this into consideration. Top dance songs that this twenty year-old shakes it to: Mercy by Duffy, Rosanna by Toto, and anything by Justin Timberlake. Great for warding off potential dates.

#3.) Every once in a while buying an expensive sweater is ok.
Remember my post on what I wanted badly? Clothes galore? Well! I bought that cute little sweater from the Gap, just in grey. I love it. I actually talked to the Gap publicist about using me as the sweater model instead of the current model. She needs to "work it" more. Just think about it... me + grey gap sweater + Justin Timberlake = something ripe. It was a pricey sweater. Believe you me, I'm not a fan of spending money but this is just one of those sweaters that truly betters your life. I've worn it everyday since I've bought it. I'm going on three days now. But it's ok because twenty year-olds can do that. Save your money for a nice birthday hello.

#4.) Eating bad food will always be bad for you.
Zuchinni cake? Check. Buffalo wings? Check. Halloween cupcakes? Check check. Snickers minis? Ouch... check. I've reached that stage of being paranoid that every bite of something bad equates to 3 extra pounds. We live in a scary world full of scary foods. Scary but so so yummy. This is not to say that eating this food is against any law. I believe that this bad food can also be a good thing. Think of the joy and happiness it brings WHILE eating. Forget the aftermath... focus on the now. I'm twenty and do I live for today? Check.

More wisdom will follow. Just remember... age encourages wisdom.

Just enjoy the show.

2008-10-18T15:49:00.001-07:00

I can't remember the last time I got lost in library's sea of books. That thought makes me frustrated because I LOVE to read. I can remember the last time I got lost in the library in a sea of homework. I'm trying to find dry ground as we speak.

I can't remember the last time I let somebody surprise me. I love surprises but love ruining them for myself just as much. Then I'm sad at myself for not letting the surprise take over. My curiosity and impatience gets the better of me.

I can't remember the last time I felt so completely in control of my little world. I almost freely allow the world itself to take control of me and I'm just along for the ride. My screaming thoughts, my heart pounding desires, my overwhelming inhibitions... all telling me what to do. Maybe I like it better that way.

Maybe I'll get a hold on this thing called life and surprise myself...
Anyone an Ugly Betty fan?? My roommate introduced me to this very fitting song. Add it to your collection.

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go, I can't do it alone
I've tried. And I don't know why...

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down
I know. I've got to let it go
and just enjoy the show
-Lady Lenka

"I don't care how, I want it now!"

2008-10-01T14:01:00.000-07:00

Just call me Veruca, darling. This says EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING I want right now. I want money. Never ending supply, please. I want to buy clothes... c-u-t-e clothes. I want to wear light sweaters with classic slacks and high heels. Fancy that novel idea... me + style = completely revolutionary. I want to be the owner of the Gap and use a local store as my closet where I could frolic from clothing rack to clothing rack throwing my left over clothes to Pierre, the store clerk. Pierre would blatantly tell me whether or not my light ocre top actually looked tre posh with my pleated skirt. I want it all. I want this cute little number. What do you think? Maybe, just very gently, attach my head to the top of the picture for a better representation of what I am imagining. I'm not a big online shopper, but when work becomes boring and brain waves become stale, this girlish chore does me right.

Also... I don't own one purse. I own what COULD be a purse but because of its hideous nature, I only use it on Sundays for a scripture case. It's the most important day of the week. You'd think I'd upgrade my priorities. I really just have picky picky taste with objects I like to fling over my shoulders. This tote bag is kinda cute. Not $210.00 cute... but fun to look at. :) I want a cute purse. And though I sound very Hollywood for saying this, I MAY want a cute dog to put in my purse. I mean why not? Isn't that what purses are for?

My brother Jesse said he'd give me a makeover when I got my braces off... for free. I know, what a sweetheart. He promised me a pair of shoes. I want those shoes I'm promised. Or maybe these...

What do YOU want??

The Sweetest Thing...

2008-09-26T13:59:00.000-07:00

There never seems to be too many simple pleasures in life. It's been a long week. I'm tired and sort of ponderish. Maybe its in our weakness that we feel the most humbled. Those little beauties all around me were not as appreciated in my hectic schedule but now that I breathe with full awareness that life IS ok, I want to think of my favorite things. I love walking when the weather is beautiful like it is today. There are so many beautiful flowers on campus. I love seeing these flowers... they're my favorite. Tulips- tulips are my true favorite. Tulips and daisies. Daisies really are friendly flowers. One of my favorite memories as a child was picking berries in Seattle. It may have been the feel of family gatherings, the smell of that old creeky house, or the touch of my Grandma's soft hands that put me in a state of euphoria. Or maybe it was just the pure taste of raspberries. Mmm how I love berries. I have a pretty family that I love so dearly. What do we do with our charismatic fathers or our gentle mothers? What do we do with our ever-fulfilling brothers who want nothing but goodness for you? We love them. That's what we do. "Ain't love the sweetest thing?"

It's a time for more gratitude.
It's a time for more noticing.
It's a time to smile and to love a little bit more.

Riddle me THAT.

2008-09-17T12:53:00.000-07:00

I have a bone to pick. Ok what does that even mean??? How about I have a case to rest; a quarrel to settle.

Ever since I can remember, I have been the child displaced from children my own age and, either by choice or chosen upon, has played with the big kids. This has NEVER dissatisfied me. In fact, I actually prefer it. My older brothers have shown me a thing or two about being tough. My parents never settled for immaturity and juvenile attitudes. I have been guided well in the big kid world. Because of my young quasi training, I became very observant of the world around me. Now for present tense. I still am always aware of my surroundings. In social settings, I MOSTLY act according to what is appropriate and what is beneficial for myself.

Now for my point.

My behavior seems shocking to most people. They feel it doesn't act in accordance to their standards of how THEY think I should. Why? Because apparently, there is some direct correlation, probably devised by Archimedes or Barbara Walters, between behavior and age. This principle of Behavioral Tendencies of Age clearly defines that if I, a 19-year-old girl, am placed in situation A, the results will always turn out with the answer of Y. As in, Y on earth is she so immature?!? Believe you me, I know how teenage girls act. I know how they are. I know what they like and I know how they like it. I am NOT suggesting that I am completely above and removed from these stereotypes. Fact: I am a fan of BSB. I can name every member of their band as well. I love the early years of Britney. The "Hit Me Baby One More Time" album got me through some of the hardest points in my life. Including last weeks Sociology paper. I understand the importance of abbreviating words to better emphasize a point. For instance, that girl last week was buggin' but whatev. I owned every color scrunchie in elementary school only for the sake of sporting it on my left wrist. Non-dominate hand rule. So I state again that I am not trying to disregard my role as a teenage girl. I am boldly stating in opposition to this principle of behavior and age that not every girl will blame their tempermental ways on PMS or emo influences. I CAN have intelligent conversations and I DO have aspirations and goals for my future. If I could count how many time guys here have asked me I were either going into Communications, Elementary Education, or Beauty School then I'd be a rich woman. There is nothing WRONG with these professions- I know a lot of respectable women who do the above and seem on top of the world. But I can pick a desirable line of study outside of these choices.

Please don't think I'm looking for extra compliment comments on my blog the next time I log on. Although that IS the highlight of having my own account. (Comments are priceless). I guess I'm just tired of the same reaction from people. From adults who trust their children in my care but once my age is disclosed, all respect is lost. Or from guys who will get to know me and do one of two things when the number 19 is brought to their attention... A.) Tell me I'm lying. Because no 19 year-old can behave like this. Or B.) Change their mind about asking me out. Give me a break people!

I have thought about this for some time now. And because I am a problem solver, I have made an idea list for possible solutions to this unsettled score. Such as legally changing my age or learning how to drop-kick. But as the reader... I am also open to your thoughts. Maybe the best idea would be to swallow my words and let Britney heal my wounds.

Can't people just take me SERIOUSLY!? :)

Where in the world?

2008-09-12T14:12:00.000-07:00

In a desperate effort to keep my blog updated, exciting and unique, I feel I fall short many times to accomplish all of the above. I may need some help and ideas.

First things first. A little update on my little life. School started up again and classes are shooting off like a rocket. I'm taking a couple generals, a Social Theory class and a prerequisite for Art History. Fourteen credit hours. And 16 hours of work a week. Not too bad. Those two are my favorite classes ever. It's so fun to just learn. I love being in school. I love all of it. I think going off to college makes you appreciate the ability to know and to develop an understanding of the world. I have been so intruiged by my sociology book about the early and modern philosophers of our time. I could really feel strongly the other night that these men like Socrates and Aquinas, even though they were missing HUGE key elements to important truths, they honestly created a vast opening to pure knowledge and what I believe in today. Such good men.. regardless of their wackiness. My roommates are AMAZING! Absolutely incredible girls. I live south of campus in a trashy little apartment with 5 beautiful girls and we have so much fun all the time. There is never a dull moment when they're around. We eat together, we pray together... it's just an incredible and completely different experience than last year. Tomorrow I'm going to my first ever BYU football game! HOORAY. My ward seems pretty good. So all in all everything is well. I have people ask me about dating... and that's NOT something I like to post on my blog. So in short... dating is good :).

Ok. So that was a hit-it-up-quick version of my life. I am thinking of ideas for my next ones... really awesome ideas. Ones that just blow your mind away. Please, if you have any, let me know. I'm up for all ideas. Until then!

My Summer Update!

2008-08-20T10:19:00.001-07:00

I do apologize to all of my fans and blog-stalkers that I have not written a new post pretty much at all this summer. It has been such an incredible summer for me. I'm still trying to pinpoint why... but until I do, I'll just be grateful. Some things I've done this summer:

-Went to Safford/Thatcher for my first time ever. Not the WORST place in the world. No really it was fun. My ward is having this mass influx of people moving from there and I've been so curious as to what the talk of this strange land was all about. I really REALLY loved it! I went for the 4th of July with Alissa and Limher. Perfect little getaway.

-I quit my Lifetime job and then went back after a week. Due to a crappy situation I threw away 4 years of working for that company. And then I went into the garbage can and took it back out for round 2. Maybe it was round 3, or 4... who knows how many times I've REALLY quit that place. The children were AWESOME this summer though. You spend enough time with the same kids and they really become a part of you. I would go home after 11 hour work days and still be thinking about them, if they were ok, if they were going to behave the next day. I'm sad this is my last and final summer doing this. It makes me wonder how much of an impact I've made on them because I can only tell you the impact that has been set on me. Here's our traditional food fight... I got SLAUGHTERED.

Swimtime. Its awesome.

Our also traditional talent show. Counselor talent = eat donuts with no hands.

-Bought the new Coldplay album!! Holy moly. Please, everyone, everywhere, BUY IT! Their other albums- Parachutes, Rush of Blood to the Head, X & Y (whatever else I'm missing) & millions of bsides have been the building ground for this album. Viva la Vida. "But that was when I ruled the world..." And GREAT news! They are coming to Phoenix for the US Tour- guess who's going?? That's right. Yours truly... November 26.

-My best friend, Limher Montoya, left on his mission. I thought it would be a lot harder than it is. I just love that kid and I truly do miss him. And in all honesty, I did cry the night I said goodbye. But I just feel SO happy for him and where he's at because I know HE'S happy! I got my first letter from him. It was better than any missionary letter I've ever received. Ever.

-I fell in love with my cute singles ward. I made so many friends. Got a fun little calling (I can say "fun" now that its over... blasted ward directory) and just really enjoyed myself. I know that if you put yourself out there and make the effort to meet people and have a good experience, it CAN happen.

-I went to two awesome concerts. Joshua Radin/Vanessa Carlton/Alexa Awesome... and PARAMORE! So sweaty, but so awesome. I always tend to run into this problem at concerts...

-I went to Oceanside, Californ-i-a. AH! It was incredible. I only was there for a couple days because my dear friend, Mrs. Dawnee Ray Godfrey, married her Robert the same week. I tell you what- after doing the same thing all summer long and working hard and long through it, its nice to have a vacation. I have had this trip planned since March. Motel booked and everything. The beach was 5 minutes walking distance from our motel. The weather was PERFECT. Beach, shopping, eating, guitar, bonfires, pier sitting, morning jogging on the beach, beach, beach, beach, evening olympics, hotel workers... all of the above made for the whole experience. Here's me, Jackie, & Katie eating on the pier at Ruby's. Bliss.

Dawnee's Reception!

-Wrote my first couple of songs. I feel so awesome after writing a song! If you ever ask me to play them, I may act like I don't know what you're talking about or claim to have never memorized them. This is because of my fear of embarrassing myself. Sorry friends.

THERE YA GO. I hope you enjoyed your summer as much as I did mine.

Goals.

2008-06-29T17:48:00.000-07:00

I like to challenge myself. I like to overcome certain areas of laziness. The other areas can remain in place. I've been thinking about doing this for a month now... and finally I've come to place, IN WRITING (or typing), my 1/2 year resolutions. It's almost the end of June... month 6 of our calendar year... and I'm ready to refresh those New Year's Resolutions. Why not take this 1/2 year mark and start again?? I'm a fan of starting new. A wise bishop gave three areas of goal making. I've stuck with his advice ever since.

Spiritual Goals:
-Do scripture reading in the MORNINGS. I know myself all too well and realize this will take serious training and extensive mental conditioning. I'm ready and willing. I think.

*Note: I heard an experience once of a mother and her growing family and the dedication and Spiritual upliftment she brought to them. When asked how she performed so well and managed to keep her sanity, she said she had thirty minutes EVERY DAY to herself. Her husband knew when this time was, and she would leave and go to her room to pray and read. 15 minutes of scripture study and 15 minutes of praying. What a great example.

Ergo...

-15 minutes of scripture study followed by 15 minutes of praying. Why wait until I have a family? Why not start now?
-Evening prayers will be VOCAL. I mean business.
-Keep up the weekly temple visits. Maybe pick a day other than Saturday... Saturdays are crazy...
-Continue on with my New Testament Reading. I've never really ventured outside of the Book of Mormon. It's about time to take that leap.
-Write in my journal every night. Yikes. Help me help me. I love how my BYU Boss (and friend :)) refers to Elder Eyring's talk on journal keeping and cultivating the past, present, and future. My entries will focus on how I've seen the hand of the Lord in my life.

Physical:
-Take one of the free classes offered at the gym! THEY ARE FREE! What more do I need? Oh, I know... someone physically putting me in my gym shoes and dragging me into the studio. I can be REALLY pathetic.
-I've never had to really watch what I've eaten before now. It's frightening what happens to the body with excess caloric intake.
-Workout atleast... 4 times a week. For starters. I am the next Karate Kid.

Emotional:
-My friends are wonderful. Keep on surrounding myself with people who only uplift me.
-Stay social! My church and ward is so great. I love the activities offered and have made so many new friends.
-Get enough sleep. I really perform SO MUCH BETTER with more sleep. The kids like me more too when Ms. Caraline gets her night's rest.
-Read more. I found myself becoming idle with my nights because I am too tired to do anything after work and want to "relax". I'm going to FINISH The Secret Garden by August. Hooray!

Wish me luck. I'm still learning about myself and I think that my biggest goal is to be able to define every end of who I am and live for what I know.

Brace Face? Yeah RIGHT!

2008-06-17T13:33:00.000-07:00

For the last year and eight months, I have had nasty braces. There has not been a day that has gone by in those passing weeks that I haven't really hated having them. It made me very self-aware and just annoyed with the little tasks of keeping up with the braces. I'd rather keep up with the Jones', personally. Either way, I can stop complaining because today I got them OFF! I love having regular teeth and a regular smile. It's so fun! I'm sure those of you who have experienced the brace-face experience, know what I mean.

Summer love!

2008-05-10T18:48:00.001-07:00

I found myself a fling! Yeah.. that's right. I have a little love interest and it involves me and big fat summertime! I love my summer. I love the Arizona sun and driving in my big brown truck with my windows rolled down. I love wearing shorts and flip flops and eating ice cubes hour after hour. Mmmmm. I love playing with Emma and Matthew in the pool and later taking naps with them on the living room floor. My fling consists of a real strong foundation of open-endedness. I know what to expect with this summer... a whole lot of working. I started work within two days of being home and will work up until I leave, but I truly am grateful for work. I also know that with my planned activities... anything is game. "Now all I wanna do is spread my wings and fly..." I love my summertime music tracks that give me that super excited feeling in my tummy and make me wanna go dancing in the middle of the street. Don't think I wouldn't do this. Been there, done that. Summer means seeing old friends and making new ones. I love that :). It means late-night swims and early morning jogs (thank you AZ heat). AND! Sonic trips, slip and slides, the camp food fight, field trips with millions of children, tan lines, summer institute, summer book list, library trips, weekly temple visits, tortillas, getting my braces off on june 17th!!!!!!, and just being happy.

My summer fling makes me happy and brings me contentment. Isn't that what every relationship should bring? I thunk so. So go make the most of YOUR summer! Eat a banana popsicle, go camping, be creative. And just BE HAPPY.

2008-04-23T13:33:00.000-07:00

Freshman

year

is

over

for

GOOD!

I

can't

wait

to

go

home!

So

long

stink

town.

Hallelujah.

My Life is a Painting.

2008-04-18T16:52:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love my decision in minoring in Art History. I have learned so much this semester in my 202 class and want so much to be an art scholar. I love anything from Romanticism to Modernism. It's interesting to me how certain individuals really struggle opening their minds to different styles of art. Many find Duchamp's Fountain to be anything BUT art and feel perturbed just looking at it. I say "Touche Duchamp." He set out to test the Academic tradition of art and succeeded. He's an artist in my book. And in my text book.

As I've learned different elements of art I find myself critiquing EVERYTHING around me and identifying with objects that I wouldn't have otherwise thought captivating. There have been certain characteristics about my surroundings in where I live and attended to this year that have really imprinted a comfortable image on my memory. And now that the school year is quickly closing, and the weather improving drastically, I wish I would have appreciated the little things more.

Provo's mountains are incredible. Absolutely breathtaking. My small kitchen window shoots straight towards Y-Mountain and makes for a pick-me-up during dishes days. Arizona has lovely scenes of mountains but I've never lived this close to an incredible piece of nature. And the people here just fascinate me... their day to day lives and routines. I love just sitting outside and watching people pass by. We are truly manufactured beings in our machine-set ways. Even the Swords and Quills club can't escape their expectations. But I love it. I love the art in them as well. Do I sound completely full of bull? I don't mean to. I guess what I'm trying to say is whether accepted or not, art is in EVERYTHING. Gustave Courbet says it best... “Fine art is knowledge made visible.” Thank you, father of Realism, for... keeping it real.

2008-04-16T13:38:00.000-07:00

I read this book in Sociology this year and LOVED it! Such a great read on the inequality of lower-class Americans. An incredible analysis of our perception of "laziness" and how the poor barely meet ends. READ IT.

A Tribute to Gen

2008-04-13T21:47:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going BLOGCRAZY! I just have down time with no more classes and finals in a week that I'm lovin' this free life. Wish it were this simple ALL the time.

So my roommate Genevieve Lynette Pipes has blessed my lifethis year. It's so hard to think that we've lived together for almost 8 months now and that it will just be over and end when finals are done. We are so different and so much alike. And because of this we have been able to lift eachother up this school year and be best friends. I really love her. Just like I would if I had a sister... and if she had one too. So I decided to make a montage of funny pictures we've taken this year and tribute it to my girl, G.

Nice to meet you, Gen's stuff. This was all I had to verify that someone was moving in with me. She had a lot of.... junk. :) It was on that very bed on our first night together that I steamrolled her.

Saturday mornings are our FAVORITE! There's no need to shower or look cute... as one might very well be able to see. That's why I love her so much- because she doesn't judge me :)

Gen and I thought we were so funny. One time when we were wrestling she high-kicked me in my face... in my braces.

Krispy Kreme Night! We proved to be our best selves. Gen will eat anything and she doesn't believe in expiration dates.

The closing dance! We are such good dancers. Gen can shake it good. She's taught me a lot.

I love my Gen! She's such a good girl. Gen... you crazy!

Hopes of Spring

2008-04-13T21:13:00.000-07:00

Today's weather was SO NICE! We had a picnic with some people from our ward after church and ate yummy food. I made my mom's delicious noodle salad and even though it needed more salt... it was still a hit!

ASL Conference.

2008-04-10T22:48:00.000-07:00

This is Koko and he knows sign language. He told his caretakers that he had a toothache and Koko was able to see a dentist. GENIUS!

So tonight I went to the Deaf Studies Conference at UVSC. After a day of school, sociology testing, and volleyball, I rode the fun bus to UVSC to go watch a performance with a bunch of Deaf individuals. I loved it! The performance was actually a movie, not a play, so I was a little disappointed, but I still enjoyed the video on Deaf throughout history. Got some good laughs in. Mainly the Deaf man in the front who shouted (to the best of his ability) AMEN when the screen read "Sign Language is an actual language." And that same man booed the actor who played Alexander Graham Bell... Deaf history was not good to Alexander Graham Bell and his invention of the telephone. The girls I was with and I met a nice man before the showing and he chatted with us for about 25 minutes. It's always interesting to hear about the odds and ends of the Deaf Culture and how to best pursue careers in ASL fields. And my favorite part was seeing my favorite ASL High School teacher! I just love her :). It made me feel at home to see someone I knew from Gilbert in this sometimes strange place. I can't even tell you how good it felt. I love American Sign Language. It has such a buoyancy and flow to it. Being at this Conference just furthers my appreciation for the language and makes me wish I could be enrolled in UVSC classes NOW and get a kick-start to my interpreting career. AH! Not until next summer... BYU offers pretty much nothing in terms on ASL classes and interpreting classes. So for someone like me, UVSC is my best and closest bet. Don't worry... I'll still go to BYU full-time and get my degree in sociology, but I'll take one class a semester at UVSC to prepare me for the interpreting exam. Also... I'm thinking about teaching ASL classes at the gym I work at back home. That is, baby sign language classes, for parents who would teach their children. That would be cool, huh?? I probably shouldn't be thinking about that until I'm really really smart with ASL.

ANYWAYS!! Tonight was fun. Now I need to write a paper on what I learned and how ASL makes me a better person. Oh joy...

I am alive.

2008-04-07T11:40:00.001-07:00

I guess because only like five people read my blog... I'm really never inclined to write new posts. But I figured its time to update you on my life :)

This weekend was General Conference and it was absolutely AMAZING. I just love hearing Apostles of the Lord speak and give much needed counsel. What an inspiring weekend. Such a boost. I was able to see my dearest Gilbert girls. A weekend full of Chad Michael Murray and pastries... WHAT could be better? I swear I could watch "A Cinderella Story" over and over and over again and never tire of the the magic. And I finished my forever dreaded Art History 202 paper that I'm turning in TODAY! and can finally release the burden. Last night, I ate dinner with my dear brother, Jesse, and an apartment full of boys. Just what I'm used to! It's always nice to get away from the girls (I say that as a general term... no certain girls in particular) and step into familiar territory of the no drama zone. Conference weekend makes me miss my family. The truth is... I've been missing my family all the time! I've never had trouble with homesickness before but recently it's been a different story. I loved Elder Nelson's talk on restoring faith in the family and the ties we have with our sealed extended families. What a blessing. It'll be nice to be home for a summer and refresh on why I love the Walker family so much. Less than a month and I'll be home!!! Overall, it's been a beneficial weekend and I'm ready to take on another week!

My Favorite Foods

2008-03-11T09:31:00.000-07:00

As I reread my previous post, I am reminded of all the wonderful foods that I love to burn off. I thought I would share some of my favorites with you.

1.) Hot wings. Anything from the Classic Boneless Style at Applebees to the Hot Wingers at Buffalo Wild Wings or even the crappy store bought kind. I love them more than alot of things.

2.) Tim's Cascade Jalepeno Chips: made in Washington. These chips DEFINE perfection and demonstrate what the Northwest stands for. My tongue is sizzling...

3.) Canned pears. I could eat can after can after can and never tire from the delightful taste of sweetness. Now, of course, I love pears OUT of the can but they are harder to eat with braces. Go ahead... laugh at my braces.

4.) Maple Donuts. Ok ok. I'm not a big fan of sweets. I rarely crave chocolate or sugar but nothing does me over like a maple donut. Preference: Krispy Kremes. Occurance: way too much.

5.) Lettuce. Plain. Plain lettuce. When I was younger, I was sick a lot. Usually with the flu. The ONLY food I could eat was lettuce, because it had no flavor and was full of water. TO THIS VERY DAY... I can eat a head of lettuce like an apple. Which is also not a good idea with braces.

6.) Thai food. I haven't had lots and lots of different kinds. Probably a total of five or six dishes. But because of a Thai-lovin' father, I do love the flare.

7.) Pretty much anything spicy. I probably have the worst digestive tract.

8.) String Cheese! BLESS the man who invented string cheese! I can never, no never, eat just one. Its a mandate to buy atleast three at a time so I can eat two right away and keep the third in my pocket for later. I kid you not. Along with my beloved string cheese there's sharp cheddar cheese and fetta. Mmmmmmmmm..........

9.) Tortillas. Allow to me explain... my mother taught me everything I need to know. She taught me how to make a quote unquote quesadilla and to always call it a tortilla instead. I understand what a tortilla is. Please don't explain. Tortillas have cheese and lunch meat and taco sauce and sour cream. What could be better? Definitely not a quesadilla.

10.) Cereal. My favorite kind? Probably Cracklin' Oat Bran. And Cap'n Crunch. And Honeynut Cheerios. Just to name a couple. The second round is always better.

Now that I am salivating on my keyboard, I think I'm going to eat some overdue yummies. Go get your food on!

P.S. I just thought this picture was so cute.

ready ready ready... ready to RUN!

2008-03-07T10:16:00.000-08:00

So admist my crazy life of church, work, school, and being awesome... I have pushed myself to develop a pattern of exercise. I am the type of person who loves thinking about being healthy and getting in shape, but when it comes down to crunch-time, I struggle with my priorities. After serious mental alignment I have started running four times a week... and I can't stop! I feel addicted to something so great and want to run all the time. I prefer running solo because I can set my own pace and don't feel in competition or sorely inadequate in comparison with a running partner. I love having my ipod tucked into my spandex and feeling the sweat on my forehead. As I set a beat with my lengthy strides, I feel so free and driven. I have one goal in mind and it is to NEVER STOP. Just keep going. One more block... fight that asthma, Caraline, fight it... It's great to have reached the point where I'm no longer day-dreaming about being healthy. I'm proactive!

Except for the part of where I eat donuts and chips and cereal all the time.

But I ask you not to judge me but to rather condone my efforts. Everyone should go running! I encourage everyone, everywhere to get off their potato chip crummed couch and put on a good pair of running shoes and smell that fresh air that awaits you. Maybe I'll see you running and do the tiresome left hand wave. Because I'm ready ready ready... ready to RUN!

Temple

2008-02-29T11:24:00.000-08:00

I love the temple. More than words can describe. I went last night with my ward (which consisted of barely 10 people) and it was a great night! I made a goal my senior year to attend the temple once a week. I was pretty consistent with my goal and found an increased amount of the Spirit in my life. Since moving away from my beautiful Mesa temple, I haven't been so consistent. I have probably gone 7 in the past 6 months and wish so much I had a car and that I wasn't so against walking in the cold. I always have excuses. Nonetheless, there are always people willing to take me and time that I can make for the beautiful temple. I just need to step up. Last night the 1st counselor to President Bateman of the Provo temple presidency, spoke to all those waiting in the baptistry. Provo has the busiest baptistry and they are sure proud of it! He shared his testimony with us and it just added to the wonderful Spirit felt. It's so great to know that a temple visit that lasts atleast 2 1/2 hours will become such a strength and booster for me. I need to go more often and do better, try harder.

I LOVE the temple.

Too Much FUN!

2008-02-24T22:44:00.000-08:00

This is what Gen (my roommate) and I do. We take pictures of ourselves and end up regretting it later. This was taken right before we went jogging one night. I think I might regret posting this picture but the truth is... most of my pictures look like this.

Roadtrip home for President's Day Weekend! This was before we got lost in Vegas for an hour. So much fun.....

Free pancakes at I-hop night! What our waiter DIDN'T know was we had just gone to Krispy Kreme's and bought a dozen donuts. Needless to say... the night ended with self-induced puking. Healthy!

Hope you've enjoyed a few pictures from my second semester at BYU! What a fun time its been up here. Gotta love college.

schoolschoolschool

2008-02-21T13:33:00.000-08:00

I'm going to start each blog with word that acts as if I'm in the middle of a conversation. Like BUT, SO, REMEMBER WHEN... just because that's the way I talk. I answer phones, begin letters, and talk like I'm conversing with someone who already knows my life story. Just thought I'd preface that.

So because I attend BYU, I feel a lot of pressure academically. Not just during midterms and finals, but ALL the time. Last week was a product of academic anxiety. This week is another week of the mounting stress. And next week will be the pinnacle of pressure. I really do love my classes. I'm taking Sociology 111, Art History 202, American Sign Language 201, Religion 122, and Volleyball 3,000. I love each and every class- they are all tailored to my interest so it's not hard to stay awake or enjoy what I am learning. BUT! It is hard to keep up. Every class... with the exception of volleyball... has more work than I imagined for what seemed like easy classes. Wrong. There ARE NO easy classes at this University. And because last semester I took Suicide 101, my GPA is suffering dramatically. Hopefully I can recover myself and kick some college butt. I will not be weeded out and will not allow my efforts go to waste. I just hope that with full-time school and part-time work I can manage my schedule and come on top. I need to have a little more faith and everything will be alright.

P.S. I think everyone should listen to "I Will Learn To Love Again" by Kaci and dance while doing so.

First Post Ever.

2008-02-17T16:54:00.000-08:00

I fear that my life is being taken over by the internet...

Facebook, MySpace, Google, email galore, online bank accounts, and finally... Blogger. The list goes on and on and on and on. And I feel that the ONLY reason I am actually making my own Blog is due to one reason: peer pressure. My seminary teacher gave me one ultimatum when going off to college but to create my own Blog. So I did. Here I am, one year later, and my sister-in-law (after making her own fully animated and beautifully construed page) has helped with the overloading pressure. I say to them give me time and I will give you the fanciest Blog you've ever seen. This will take the place of any other internet frenzy that I, a time-wasting college student, will take part of. I will put aside other important things I am doing in order to give you, the reader, a piece of my mind. Things like homework, chores, personal hygiene... everything that should matter. And in this process, I will become technologically proficient while trumping every other Blogger in their efforts to create "The Best Page Ever." Namely... Stephanie Walker.

So, mock me all you want. But first mock my seminary teacher and my sister-in-law.

ERGO... the start to something beautiful.

Fin.