Steal My Sunshine

I am craving warmth and sunshine and popsicles and flip flops.....
I am a summer. NOT a winter.

This weekend is a three-day weekend... BYU's alternative to Spring Break. Don't worry, we get another one in February. Out of the kindness of their Cougar hearts.

So in order to better help me make it through this semester and have things to look FORWARD to as I kick the snow off my boots and plead to the heavens for a taste of summer sun... I thought I'd make a list of things I wanted to happen or do or see in 2009. Yes- a goal list. Both productive and pleasurable. Something that will help me enjoy the NOW and keep me interested in this CaralineWorld. So tell me, bloggers, what books and what sites and what adventures would best suit me??? I'm open for it all. Ready to try new things. Kick new pants. Take it upon yourself to help make my year kickin'.

So what? I'm still a rockstar.

This is so overdue. I don't know what happened to me in the last two months that would honestly take me away from my Blogging duties. Hello??!

I have this belief... theory... ok, opinion that women love to feel sorry for themselves. From girlhood we have put ourselves into situations that inevitably led to heartache and self-pity. We love listening to sap songs on Deliah and watching Sleepless in Seattle only hoping that years of loneliness can lead to a perfect life of romantic pleasure. It's like as females we expect that once we feel dejected or get rejected the world will send us roses. Wouldn't that be nice? To come home after a hard day of work or a bad breakup and find a bouquet of Daisies on your doorstep? Or a box of Belgian chocolates.... mmmm. Just because you're a woman who's lonely and deserves it?

I see it in every movie. Every book. Every song. My favorite: The Wedding Planner. Duh. J-Lo does an incredible job of being the perfectly content single woman who shys away from relationships because of a previous heartbreak and false opportunities. She never goes on dates. She vacuums her curtains. She plans other people's happy endings. Her life stinks. And yet, the first time I saw that movie I wanted to be her and live that life. What is with that?! And! What about how every woman feels so connected to Jane Austen. I love her, I do. Her stories are captivating as was her personal life. But maybe love grows to envy of something we DON'T actually want. So in the midst of living vicariously through thousands of sappy love stories, we still remember that we have a life to live as well. We have our own sappy.... story. Love or not. To me, its the idea of being independent. It's the idea of living a separate life, single from the world itself. And yet as we try and gain a unique female identity, we find ourselves wanting the acceptance from society (particularly males) and waiting for that dang box of chocolates.

I am that girl. I am that girl wants to be "found when no one else was looking." (Thank you, Kelly Clarkson. Good luck with your romantic endeavors as well). So I don't write this in efforts to try and call out the flaws of females.... because I am one and I do the works. But in an effort to change this mindset that I am currently in, I think my best option would be to stop saying "someday" my "Romeo" will come (clever name, Taylor Swift). What happened to my today's? I, and anyone else, can still be that independent girl. We can always just hope for the best right now. "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game," (Cinderella Story). Keep holding on to those bogus movies lines and cliche lyrics. We live for them, right?

I mean what doesn't make you stronger will at least put hair on your chest. Always stick to the positive side of things. And remember... love IS a battlefield. I salute you, Pat Benatar.

I want you!

I'm so happy to report that I am apart of the most wonderful family in the entire world. My biased opinions have left me feeling a little homesick for them. I've been reading the most famous Nie-Nie and Mr. Neilson's updated blog and it just makes me miss my Walker roots.

It's a darn good thing I have my charming brother, Jesse, up here with me. I don't know how I'd manage without him. We ate lunch together almost every day last week on campus. And after we'd eat, we'd sit. And talk. And laugh at funny things funny people do. He's been so good to me and regardless of who I'm with on the weekends, I always wish I were with him. Or rather.... with him and the whole Walker Clan. So we all could laugh at the funny things that funny people do. I wish you could all know my brother Jesse. He's a hard-worker. And he could quite possibly be the funniest person I know. We are so much alike. Not in the funny factory, but in everything else. People will either ask us if we're dating or if we're twins. I love it when people assume I'm the older twin. Four and a half years difference means nothing when your brother still wears shark shorts to college. But I'm not embarrassed.

My middlest brother Brett married the daintiest little Lindsey and have a sweet marriage. They travel everywhere and do everything. Lindsey obsesses over Veronica Mars and Brett obsesses over nuclear warfare. Their explorations from Utah to Monterey to Jordan to Austria amaze us all. My best-friend brother Brett (you keep saying that alliteration) could outsmart the entire U.S. government- with his eyes closed and a creamie in hand. I'm not quite sure Brett even likes creamies. I remember Brett leaving the airport to report to the MTC is Sao Paolo, Brazil, a week before 9/11. He was so excited and so ready and I was so so distrought. Why did my mom have to have all these boys who constantly left me all the time? But as Bretty hugged his way through the fan-club of masses, he approached me with a hug and heavy eyes. We sobbed. Two years later was one of the best days of my life. The security guard at the high school escorted me to the lobby of the main office where my freshly returned missionary brother was waiting to greet me. I couldn't run down those stairs fast enough. I couldn't hug him hard enough. I sobbed again. He's quick and solid. Lindsey is just the same. They are perfect for the other.

My oldest brother, Curt, and his lovely wife, Stephanie, brought their little family up to Utah this semester for a little Fall Break vaca. I loved it. Jesse loved it. But Matthew did not. Or rather, he did not like saying goodbye. As I got in the car to leave our short visit, I found almost 3 year old Matthew all ready in the passenger seat. He wanted to come with. And as his dad took him out of the car he sobbed. We're a sobbing family. He outstretched his arm and howled "I just wanttttt youuuuu." Jess and I felt pretty important that day. Curt's family is so fun. He is such a good father and husband. I have always thought that when I decided to get married, he'd be the brother I consult everything with. He's the oldest. He was what I looked up to always. Curt is so level-headed and makes sense of most everything. I trust his judgement in almost anything... almost. I never trusted his BB gun wars. Never. But I get so excited thinking about seeing him and his wife and kids. Curt loves just being surrounded by his family, just like I do. And I think that of all the kids, him and I look the most alike. Except for that perfect nose he has. Where DID he get that nose anyway?

In searching through my picture albums, I found some from a couple summers ago. There are older and the kids look younger. But don't we always want to cherish our youth? I should remember that when I'm trying to skip years in growing up.

And we welcome you, baby #3! Until next time...

Picture update!

HALLOWEENY! Me and Katie at her smashing Halloween party.



This semester has gone by incredibly fast... and I love it! Most times. Other times I need a third dimension time warp- like this one time last year... Limher and I were over at our friend's apartment and our favorite nomad friend, Logan, put on a glow stick show for us to Enya's greatest hits. I felt like Dory and Marlin on Finding Nemo when that light/fish/thing in the ocean completely puts them in a hippie trans. It was AWESOME. Fifty whole minutes of awesome. There's a distinct difference between being so relaxed that you just want to fall asleep and so relaxed that you can't open your eyes wide enough, and you would submit body and soul to everything awesome happening at that moment. This was one of those times. By the way... Limher is doing so well! I got a letter about 3 weeks ago and he is just on fire. I haven't received any pictures but when I do, you can guarantee I'll post. Anyway! Here are some pictures I've taken as of late at my lovely BYU home.

The roomies and I had a nice little photo shoot after baking some cookies. Juline was the star performer that night.

Our Mary friend. She can just work the camera.

My personal favorite. She only works for those who pay in large sums.

Note: The apron. So please... enjoy.

The last BYU home football game. We love football! Our seats were right behind the south endzone.

Hope your semester is going as good as mine! Chow.

Toooooo excited!

I'm so excited for:

Snow.... mostly.
Snowball fights... mostly.
Christmas lights.
Thanksgiving!
Seeing my beautiful family.
Christmas Eve and Day
School to be over.
Going home.
Temple lights.
Christmas at Rockefeller Center... except I'm not REALLY going there. Just wishin' and dreamin' :)

I'm too excited for the best time of the year.

In my own magical way, I was able to VOTE this election and let my voice be heard. It's bizarre to think that in only a few days, we will KNOW who the next President of the United States will be. In complete HONESTY, it was a toss-up for me this election. And I'm not going to say it's because "both candidates are terrible" or "it's a lesser of two evils." This is POLITICS. This is America. It's all about FIGHTING for what is good and seeking for that better tomorrow. And with such a monumental and HISTORICAL election, I can see the fight in these men. My parents said their Stake President made a point this weekend to discourage and condemn political hate emails against either candidate. Our NATION will be ok, was his point. I feel so much like I want to ECHO his words. With earnest prayers and righteous desires, God will lead those who are faithful. And because of that...

I will fear no evil.

Feel it.

"What the WORLD needs now..."

My Jackie friend called me the other night... talked politics and voting matters. She concluded she only would vote for one thing most uncommon in this election time... love. Let the hippy movement begin!

"...is love sweet love."

October is the precusor to everything beautiful for me. Birthdays, holidays, family time. It's my Thursday for the months ahead. Only just one more day and its Friday.... one more holiday and its Thanksgiving and Christmas. Time to be with the ones I cherish the MOST. Nothing equates more to love than this.

"That's the only thing, that there's just too little of."

I feel like I know so little in a time when there's so much to learn. Days pile on top of the other and time slips by... today I'll take more time to learn about others. Put aside my wants. And to, "Love thy neighbor as thyself."