Oh heck. What have I been doing these last 9 months? I've been right here reading juicy blogs and never once remembering I had one of my own. That's the Terrible, Awful that I know you've already figured out. Blogging is not my fav - but since I can't find my journal at the moment this will have to do.
I was in Young Women's today (my church's youth program for girls) and was asked by another leader if I had yet graduated high school. I know it's a compliment and I thank her for it. I've just seemed to have confused an awful lot of people lately with my strikingly young appearance. It's no secret that I'm only twenty-something (3) and still look like a pubescent tween. Which is fine except when I'm entering a club or a bar and everyone thinks I've got a fake ID. I've actually never been in that kind of a situation but I can only IMAGINE the frustration that I would encounter. So as my age appears to muddle its way into the twenties I find myself second-guessing my every decision. Is that healthy? Will I regret this? Will Ryan regret this?
Church was good today and helped clarify my anxiety over some of life's dilemmas. I re-learned about faith and how sometimes I just need to be obedient. It's unfortunate, but I find that all too often I compare myself to other twenty-somethings and begin to worry about my eternal progression. Will I be judged on how I never can make my bed (ever) and how I can run no further than a mile (on a good day)? Or how we got ourselves a dog but were terrible owners and gave him away after 3 weeks? Or how the month before graduation I decided I don't want to study Sociology anymore?
There's a reason I don't blog weekly or Facebook blast daily... But even though I'm not pregnant with sextuplets, can't manage my credit card, and kill all my gifted plants I am still trying to accomplish it all (except not sextuplets, please). Faith is one of the greatest truths behind my religion and I am very grateful to be told again and again... endure to the very end. Keep trying to be obedient and keep trying to have faith that it will all work out. Somehow that just makes me feel better, day in and day out.
This twenty3 year-old may be lacking in some areas but understands that finding joy is what life is all about. I'm just grateful that I have help along the way to remember it all. (And individuals who tell me I look like a dashing 15 year-old).
5 weeks ago