Saturday, October 18, 2008

Just enjoy the show.

I can't remember the last time I got lost in library's sea of books. That thought makes me frustrated because I LOVE to read. I can remember the last time I got lost in the library in a sea of homework. I'm trying to find dry ground as we speak.

I can't remember the last time I let somebody surprise me. I love surprises but love ruining them for myself just as much. Then I'm sad at myself for not letting the surprise take over. My curiosity and impatience gets the better of me.

I can't remember the last time I felt so completely in control of my little world. I almost freely allow the world itself to take control of me and I'm just along for the ride. My screaming thoughts, my heart pounding desires, my overwhelming inhibitions... all telling me what to do. Maybe I like it better that way.

Maybe I'll get a hold on this thing called life and surprise myself...
Anyone an Ugly Betty fan?? My roommate introduced me to this very fitting song. Add it to your collection.


I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go, I can't do it alone
I've tried. And I don't know why...

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down
I know. I've got to let it go
and just enjoy the show
-Lady Lenka

2 comments:

Ann said...

Would it totally depress you to know it took me 45 years to get the nerve up to really examine my life and chose to live it rather than simply watch? If you can do that in your twenties! Well, you go girl! You have articulated what I felt but couldn't acknowledge amazingly well. You are already well on your way.

Anna said...

Beautiful insight Ann! Keep up the good work miss Caraline. You, do and know more then you give yourself credit for. Smile. It can only start something good! Also sometimes we all just need a good jump start. You're already at least half way there it seems. I LOVE YOU! Honest to goodness you are the cheese to my macaroni!