And we're happy.

Had a great Thanksgiving!
Looking forward to this cool weather and (yummy) treats.
I hope someday to have better family pictures taken.
But for now, this is our holiday greeting card... we're alive and well!

The Best is Yet to Come.

It has been over the course of the last two and half weeks that I have struggled with being believing. Believing in myself, in this pregnancy, and in miracles. It is unfortunate to admit but sometimes I let fear drive my thoughts and faith take the back seat.

After our first ultrasound, we were able to finally believe that this baby was real. We could hear baby's heart and see baby's body, and the connection between child to parent grew deeper within us both. The nurse practitioner then delivered very scary news about the stability of baby's health. Through the first 8 1/2 weeks of pregnancy the little tadpole developed pericardial effusion, a condition in which abnormal amounts of fluid surround the heart, ultimately creating a problem with potential growth. What felt like a huge devastation turned into a huge blessing. After much encouragement from my husband and family, we prayed day and night for this baby. We knew miracles were possible. After all the Savior raised Lazarus from the dead and gave the blind man sight. Could He not heal my baby? I believed He would.

What seemed like the longest week of our lives finally ended with a follow-up ultrasound. My nerves were uncontrollable, and I played through all possible scenarios of what could happen. My worst fears were confirmed: no heart beat. Baby had passed, sometime within a short day of our first ultrasound. Yet because we both knew the possibilities it came as less of a shock. Still a huge blow. My baby wasn't healed and I was sad.

Because the baby was at no position of dropping on its own, we could choose between a. waiting out the miscarriage or b. having a D&C. Both sounded awful. I was given a blessing and continued to pray. While at school and work my prayers were constant. We felt that the best option was to have the surgery. So that's what I did yesterday afternoon at the hospital. After I woke up from the anesthesia I began crying, maybe because I was drugged up or maybe because I was sad it was all finally over.

It wasn't until I lay in the hospital bed yesterday that I finally felt a sense of peace come over me. My baby wasn't supposed to be healed. And I am beginning to understand that more fully. This experience was for our good, for my good. And miracles do happen. Surgery went well. Recovery has been wonderful. And the understanding of my Savior's love has deepened. He is now healing me.

How could I have managed to experience life's hiccups without the Gospel of Jesus Christ? The Savior is in all things and my plan has become more clear. I look forward to what's ahead for our family! For we will never be left alone... Thank you to all those who prayed for us. We really felt your prayers and were blessed by the added strength.

"We know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true, and the best is yet to come," Elder L. Tom Perry

The best IS yet to come! I cannot wait.

October brings good things!

What a fabulous time of the year this is! I just celebrated my 22nd birthday and loved it. Ryan surprised me with a trip to Scottsdale. I've been dying to go on vacation for a while (mainly because I love hotels) and my wish came true! We called this trip our "babymoon". (thebump.com told us having a babymoon would ease the pregnancy. I like to believe that that's true.)

Yesterday my parents did a big birthday dinner for both my dad and myself. I truly love that our birthdays are so close! Happy Birthday (today) Dad! You're looking younger by the minute. I played hookie from school today because I felt too tired. And my stomach hurt. With working 25 hours a week and going to school full-time I feel like this baby turns my body off really fast. Tadpole = 1, Caraline = 0.

We had our first ultra-sound on the 22nd and heard the baby's heart beat! What a neat experience. Because our baby has a heart complication we're going back for a follow-up ultra-sound this coming Monday. Ryan and I are confident that this little baby will be fine. But oh the stress it can bring when you carry a baby! Wish us luck on Monday.

I hope you all had a lovely October and enjoy your Halloween!
(Oh- and Happy Birthday to Joelle this weekend :))

The time is here...

I wanted to let you all know
(and by "all" I mean those who have the patience to care about my abandoned blog)....


I'm expecting!

(A baby).


Happy to be sick (kinda) and even happier to be fertile.

Vacationing.

Every summer should be complimented by an awesome vacation. My summer just got rocked by Bear Lake and Sundance, Utah. No... no Robert Redford sitings this time. Ryan was able to meet most of my extended family for the first time at Bear Lake. And he still wants to stay married! I wish I had pictures of my cousins and extended family. It was so good to see them. I can't wait until our reunion in Washington next year. My immediate family left Bear Lake and stayed at a beautiful log house in Sundance. Here are only a couple of pictures of our awesome vacation.

Ryan and Samantha running a muck at BYU!

Baby Wesley at the Provo Fair. He's a wee baby.
Emma, Samantha and me. Posing for Ryan. Cutest nieces ever! Where's Matthew? Settling Catan?
Husband and wife... lounging on the deck.
Siblings picture. Check out Curt's lighting zipper!
Williams family picture!
Can't wait to go on vacation again!!

Paperweight.

Two posts in one day... whaaaa?

This post will serve the very purpose in having a blog... to update.

Ryan is in Mexico again. He has spent the majority of June and now July (and eventually some of August) at a mine site three hours from Monterrey. He works a lot when he's there which is always a blessing. But all he has to show for it is a bag full of Fools Gold. Bring me the real stuff! When we move maybe I'll pitch it at a garage sell as real gold and noone will know the difference. Without my buddy here I do a lot of info-mercial watching and internet surfing. Mainly because I'm waiting for Ryan to get online. Our means of communication is online chatting. Definitely doesn't feel cool as it did when I was 13 years old. But it's the best we got, so I'll take it! Yes, I miss him a lot. But again, I am just grateful we both have jobs. So when Ryan gets home we'll be taking a week long vacation to Utah... woohoo! Who doesn't love Utah? Ok, maybe a lot of people. But I can't help but love it... "so sue me."


We'll be staying in Sundance. Beautiful! I'll be sure to post some pictures after the trip. Until then... I have some Zumba info-mercials to attend to.

Tuppence a bag.

As if my week can't get any better... this is what I found chugging alongside Warner road without a care in the world. Unfortunately, I could not slow down the car enough to take my very own picture of an elderly man riding a banana seat bike, dressed in camou and a macau. Like it was nothing at all.

In Google Imaging "Man riding bike with macau on shoulder" I discovered that over-usage of words gives you way too many stupid pictures. But I did find a better representation of what I wanted to portray. Although he looks less like the elderly man and more like my dear father-in-law, I thought it was pretty remarkable that people even think to do things like this.


Do macaus adjust well to 115 degree weather? I couldn't help but feel bad for that bird. There's no way that bird would take flight anywhere away from that man's shoulder. Where would it go? Don't macaus live in tropical forests? And isn't camou the worst thing to wear in the middle of July? Fortunately my logic didn't match this man's. Good thing! What would I blog about if I didn't have people like this?

It took me 14 minutes to draw that.

The first day of summer.

Did you know that starting Monday, June 21st the first day of summer has arrived? On the contrary, I believe the first day began several weeks back. But to honor my FranklinCovey planner I will attribute Monday to summer's arrival. We are defining our first summer together by attending baseball games, bbqs and working a lot. We were fortunate enough to view the Gila Valley temple dedication in the Gila Valley. It was a beautiful experience! Did I mention Ryan works a lot? He has currently worked himself all the way over to Monterey, Mexico where he will have spent two weeks working at the mine. I'm on day five. Today was the first day I was able to speak with him on the phone. I answered the phone not expecting to hear him and not recognizing to whom I was speaking with. Maybe another ten months of marriage will cure that.

Maybe since I turned our internet back on I'll blog more in the next week and a half. Happily, my brother Jesse is staying with me. So I don't find myself too bored. Last night we went to Chipotle where I bought myself a kids meal (first time ever) and we later watched Jurassic Park. "Hold on to your butts." Newman has got to be the grossest character in that whole movie. Also, I am trying to do some summer reading as I anxiously await the third installment of the Hunger Games. I have discovered that I am not the only person loving this series.

Ok, that's all I have for tonight. Maybe I'll blog sooner than later next time. Just maybe...


Please ignore Ryan's tucked in shirt. He was helping with the sound at the Gila Valley Cultural Event. It's all I can really say about that.

Every day.

Every day can seem a little more tedious than yesterday.

And every day I struggle to be a little bit better than I was before.

Every day I feel compelled to be a better member of my faith and a better missionary to those searching for answers.

And every day I fall short of my perfect reality.

But every day I know that my Heavenly Father loves me.

Today is the same as yesterday and tomorrow because my Father in Heaven never gives up on His struggling daughter.

So every day I should be thankful for the life I have and the person I am becoming.

Please, watch this. It may help you remember your own divine nature...My New Life

It's almost time.

Please let us make it through finals...

And not end up looking like him.
Thank you.

It's true!

We have proof- we DO do stuff! Contrary to what you may believe, we aren't just boring, non-eventful people. And I have the pictures to prove it. These were all the good pictures I had on my camera.

My homies. Isn't it great to have friends that date back to elementary school and junior high days?? I love being with Ashley and Kaycee. Here's to girl's nights and greasy dinner at Chile's!
Sweet baby Wesley. Isn't he so stinky? And by stinky I mean cute. This is Brett and Lindsey's new baby boy. And if you look closely, that white and brown object in the front right is my new baby... a brand new purse! Way too expense. Way too cute.

Spring Break 2010- camping in Safford. Our first camping trip! It was seriously cold. Three blankets and a highly insulated sleeping bag couldn't keep me from shivering all night long. Things I'm grateful for: not being homeless and memory foam.

My co-workers and I said goodbye to our dear Nathan Askins. Lifetime Fitness feels empty without him. He's serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Brazil. We sure miss you, Mr. Nathan!


EASTER PAGEANT! Worst seats ever. We really enjoyed it though. Thanks to Ashley and Trevor for coming with us. No pictures of our friends, only us. Apparently we only take pictures of ourselves.


Toby Keith's I Love This Bar & Grill. Yes, you got it. My first (and definitely last) bar experience. I was way bummed that Toby wasn't there. I guess he really doesn't love that bar and grill.

Two of our most favorite people, Lisa and Tanner! Always so good to see you guys. Good thing I love my in-laws :)

So there you have it. Ryan and I are completely capable of doing stuff. I'm excited for summer time- I'll be sure to document all our cool adventures.

Missin' you lately...

It's like I was taken from my birth mother and put in a foster home for the last 17 years.
"Take me home country road..."

Things I miss most about Washington:

Safeco Field and Ken Griffey Jr. (thank GOODNESS for baseball!)
The joke shop at Pike Place
... everything else at the market for that matter
including the pig statue at Pike.
Evergreen Trees
brick houses
picking berries on Camano Island
homemade jam
grandma and grandpa mac
walker reunions
Ivar's Fish and Chips.... mmm
the wharf (where my obsession with marinas began)
the trashy bums EVERYWHERE in downtown Seattle
riding ferries to different Washington islands
Tim's Cascade Chips
my dog, Elvis
not my cat, Felix. bad Felix.
fresh crab
the absolutely tranquil rain
the music! what a hotspot for rock and roll.
how everyone still dresses like they live in the 90s
mostly... my family.

"Take me home country road, to the place where I belong."
John Denver

Now you wish YOU could live there too, I bet! Hopefully we can go visit soon so I can post my own beautiful pictures of Washington. For now, I'll keep saving my pennies for a trip.

HAPPY EASTER!

Don't you fret

A little fall of rain can hardly hurt me now.

A wise friend taught me that there are no such things as bad days,
only bad moments.

Tomorrow will feel better, friend.

A little fall of rain can hardly hurt you now...
for the sunshine will be your umbrella.

Delicious!

This week I ate one of these...

while wearing one of these...

and smelling some of these...

Isn't springtime WONDERFUL!?! Everything is so delicious in Arizona right now. Flowers, shorts, fruit, pony tails, flip flops. And most importantly, General Conference. Hope you all enjoy the delicious treats that spring has to offer!

The Dishwasher Chronicles

Here's a little gem for you...

Remember my damaged disposal? Our dishwasher broke! This wasn't a HUGE deal since the last two years I've lived in apartments that didn't even have dishwashers. So I'm very familiar with using fingernails to scrape plastered oatmeal from my $2 plates. Our sad little dishwasher has been making some serious angry noises for the last several weeks, and Ryan and I have debated on whether or not to even use it. We did anyway, lazy us. However, before any huge explosion occured, we called the maintenance crew and after managing the problem, they found a stock of plastic water bottle lids jammed in the tubing. Yes I did wash plastic water bottles and re-use them. It saves money, right? Several other parts were broken, none of which was my fault. Fast forward one week and now we have a brand new dishwasher!

I especially loved it when the repair man mentioned "Oh yeah! This is so easy to fix. These dishwashers only cost us $105 each. We're happy to help!"

No wonder it broke in the first place...

Reasons to be happy

I have such a happy life...

I attend school. Even if it's not my first-choice university, it's an education, and for that I am grateful. How happy-a-day will it be when I yank that diploma from faculty hands and take what is rightfully mine!

Thanks to a loving set of parents, we have two vehicles. I couldn't imagine having the schedules we have and only using one car. One of us would have to ride a bike. And that would not give us a reason to be happy.

I know God loves me and watches out for me. Blessings are daily showered upon me and my family. The Gospel really is good news... happy news, if you will.

I have an INCREDIBLE husband. Do you all know Ryan?? Because if you do, you know how lucky I am. In all my days (as few as they may be) I have never met someone so smiley and positive and downright HAPPY as he is.

He is the reason I am so happy.

I hope you're just as happy in your own lives!

Seis meses. Six months.

Thanks to Limher's mom, I am currently enrolled in free Spanish classes at her casa. Once a week, I learn all the basics to the Spanish language. This will come in handy when I'm (someday) lost in Mexico.

Seis meses have passed since August. Excuse me? Can you please explain where the months are going? Somehow in the last six months I have attended two new schools, started a second job, quit that second job, received a promotion at Lifetime, and, oh yeah, got married!

This post is dedicated to Mr. Williams and six things I've learned about being married to him...

1.) Even if you don't like taking pictures, you always look good in them. Especially pictures taken right before a fun date. Yay for date night and Phantom of the Opera!

2.) Your beard means the world to you.

3.) You have chameleon qualities. Your ankle changed at least four shades of purple and yellow after you sprained your ankle during basketball.
4.) Basketball is a man's sport.

5.) You are a good cook! Not that I didn't believe you in the first place... but after our Potato Bar Dinner, I was sold. 6.) You love children. You want like twenty of them. Thanks to you, all of the children in our lives (including this fine young fellow, Brady) choose you over me.

I can't wait for our next seis meses together! Viva la Williams!

Laundry news.

While folding my laundry...

I turned on the TODAY SHOW.
I learned a simple tip to staying happy: make your bed each and every morning.
You'll feel "in control of your domain" and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I tried it; it works.

While folding my laundry...

I saw a commercial for Jiffy Peanut Butter.
The little boy who makes him his own school lunch.
And manages to make one for his mom.
Admittedly, I became a little choked up.
And afterwards, I made myself a PB&J.

I'm glad I folded my laundry.

Today is January 14th, 2010. Happy Thursday, everyone. Today, I remember our dear friend Megan Marie Wall Whitworth. We've missed you these last four years! I wish I could put flowers on your pretty headstone today.

I am so sorry for families and friends of those affected by the earthquake in Haiti. My prayers are with you.

May we all be a little happier, live a little better, and be a little kinder to one another. Why not start today?

YES!

Observation #1: Productivity pays off.

I follow the counsel of my good friend, Anna, and use a planner. How else would I manage a life juggled around reading chapter books and cooking enchiladas? Thanks to another wise mentor who we will call Kent, because that is his real name, I learned the importance of meticulously diagramming hectic weeks. It's all about visualizing and committing to the times and tasks on the paper. When I see "9:00-9:45: run to Gardner street and back" I know there is no turning back. I've become a blood sister with my conscious and am obligated to do my weekly chores. I vote YES to Productivity. Actually, my obsessive compulsive behaviors have been harbored for a long while. This was all re-iterated to me Saturday when my niece found a paper from my elementary school days. If only I had a picture to show you all. The contents included a detailed list of times and activities for my 10th birthday party, along with back-up plans (in case no one wanted to play my games). I blame my O.C.D. on all my time I spent playing alone in closets and my childhood/adult obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Observation #2: Maybe this explains everything



I just felt like it was time to make this popular again. Thank you to Junior Miss for giving me the opportunity my senior year of high school to wear silly clothes and dance on stage. I vote YES to letting all those childhood inhibitions go.

Before I forget... I finished Hunger Games and it was VERY good. I need a couple of days to soak it all in; the plot line is anything but light. Next, I'll finish Suzanne Collin's series and then jump into the Tunnels books. Also, I have finally received in-state status at ASU! This is huge. Take $10,000-$3,400 and that's what I'll be saving. What a headache its been- I'm grateful for my "pleading" prayers, getting answer to prayers, and now my "thank you" prayers.

Maybe this font wasn't the best idea...

Yesterday, I watched (most) of the movie Julie and Julia. For the most part, I enjoyed the storyline. After all, it is a story after my own heart. In 2002, some girl named Julie performed the exact notion in which I intended to become famous. Her solution was exquisite: take Julia Child's cook book. Next she sautéed, grilled, cooked, and baked her way through 365 days of Child's finest recipes. It takes the creativity of one young talented writer to change the way all writers think of themselves.

So I begin the forward movement towards my career as a writer. It's my turn to embark on the new endeavor for 2010 of bettering my writing technique and skill. Unlike Julie Whoever, I will not be using food as an outlet. (Outlet for writing, that is.) Instead, I'll have to resort to the beauty found in everyday monotony. In simplistic terms, I will use this blog to do exactly what I've been doing: write about my life. In all, I hope to use this next year and decade to reach the level of distinguished writer. Or something. Now is the time for influx of creative ideas...

Just as I've always known, to be well-versed you must be well-read. Before I start school again, I will take and make time to read. First book: The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Mom says its good, so it must be.

The Astronaut Farmer film is playing on my DVR, making me feel like I can make it to the moon, or rather be a decent writer. It's a new year and a new decade. Let the innovation in our own lives begin!

On a less than serious note: Sherlock Holmes is a great movie! Ryan and I saw it on New Year's Eve and fell in love with it. I want to see it again. Taking dance classes is therapeutic. For my exercise today, I attended one at the gym. I definitely never knew my hip rotators worked as well as they do. Lastly, Ryan and I have become obsessed with making our own salsa. I don't think I'll ever buy the store bought kind again. (That sounds very anti-Capitalistic of me, doesn't it?)

Hope your holiday was as good as mine! Happy New Year.